Friday, October 26, 2007

Where Is London?

How much is a flight to London, Fletcher?

Former Gator and Current Miami Dolphin

Dolphins LB Channing Crowder, who appears likely to start in the middle Sunday against the Giants (@Wembley Stadium) with Zach Thomas ailing, says he didn't know until Tuesday that people in London speak English.
"I couldn't find London on a map if they didn't have the names of the countries," he said. "I swear to God. I don't know what nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I know London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him. That's the closest thing I know to London. He's black, so I'm sure he's not from London. I'm sure that's a coincidental name."

Thursday, October 25, 2007


Get used to it Colorado, cause you will see Beckett twice in the series. Was it me, or did it seem that Colorado was in awe of his stuff from the first pitch? While the Red Sox carried their October magic into the World Series, when Dustin "I swear I am tall enough to ride the roller coaster" Pedroia hit a lead off home run. Game 1 looked like the the Varsity squad taking on the JV team, and we all know what happens next. Game 2 tonight, and the Rockies better get a win, or I am calling sweep.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Why Women Hate Sports!

Searching For Some HEAT

The Miami Heat are now 0-6 in the preseason with one game to go. Not that we should be looking at records as the be all end all when judging preseason action, but their record is truly indicative of how bad it has been for Pat Riley and the crew. Injuries have kept the Heat from having a single minute with Dwayne Wade on the court. This injury was expected though, so the Heat had hopes of figuring out the rest of the roster, while Wade healed. However, the big guns like Shaq and Zo have also been sitting out.
The big men look old and the young guys that Riley brought in to add athleticism to the lineup have just looked young. This was the year that Dorell Wright took the leap from bench player to starting small forward, but so far he has looked like nothing more than a weakside defender. His offense is nowhere to be seen, even though the ball is his to do whatever he wants with. He looks too timid on offense when on the perimeter, and somewhere along the line he forgot how to take it to the hoop. Message to Dorell, you are an athletic wing man who should be focusing on getting to the hoop and drawing fouls. This is how you find your offensive rhythm.
With Wright not being able to find his game, the pressure falls to some older guys like Antoine Walker and Anfernee Hardaway to provide a punch from the wing. If only this was 1998, then Walker and Hardaway would be the best 1-2 combo in the league, but this is 2007 and these guys are far from their prime. As guys get older they get wiser, but the also get slower, and in Walker's case he was never that fast to begin with.
So where can the Heat go from here to help the small forward position? It is time to scour the waiver wire for a few gems that could help our team. Derrick Byers just got cut from Philly cause they were crowded at the wing position. Byers is a scorer out of Vandy, who had first round talent, but slipped due to a back injury. Could he provide us with help at the 3 spot that we have been looking for? The guy can stroke it from outside, but is not the most athletic guy. Reminds me of a poor man's Glen Rice. Now that is a lofty compliment, but on a team like the Heat who are searching for outside shooters, Byers might be the guy.
Could a trade be on the horizon? Some small forwards that could be available are Ron Artest, Corey Maggette, James Jones, Ricky Davis, and Demetrius Nichols. The Heat are caught in the unenviable position of building for the future, while having a lot of veterans still on the roster. It's tough to ask Shaq and Zo that their season is going to be chalked up to a rebuilding year, but looking at the roster outside of Dwayne Wade and Udonis Haslem, there is not much at this point to be excited about.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Red Sox Craigslist

My sister recently emailed me this "you are slacking on your blog." Which is 100% accurate. I was hired as a writer on a gay sketch comedy show and my life has been a little hectic with work. But things are calming down and I thought I would share a couple of hilarious CRAIGSLIST posts some of the boys at work shared with me. Now Craigslist is a place where you can sell a futon or get a stranger to pee on you.

Well after the Sox won the ALCS there seems to be an odd fetish going on in NYC: Red Sox sex. (Note: spelling errors are all Craigslist.) Like this posting in


Chubby girl or BBW who likes the Red soxs? (your place) - m4w - 29 (Midtown)

looking for chubby girl or a bbw to invite me over to watch the rest of the redsox/indians game.

will bring food or drinks whatever you want, just looking to hang out.

That seems sort of sweet and sad. Or as my friend Craig said, sad and sad.

How about a post I'm calling "Self-loathing Yankee fan" in


Yankee Fan to suck Red Sox Cock - 31

I thought that by this time, we would have beaten you guys, but I guess not. You are going to the series, so I want to get on my knees and take your load. I wear my yankees cap, you wear your Red sox cap. Whip it out and I take your juice.

Pretty adorable, right? My guess is that A-Rod posted it.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Episode 9: Vinny Testaverde Killed JFK

Listen HERE

Episode 10 is here! Packed so full of sports and comedy it is like a fat person in a track suit. First off the Idiots go through the "Hit List." Jackie and Tim talk Dane Cook (boo), Vinnie Testeverde (yay), the Brady baby (JETM?) and NHL ratings (lower than a Bowery bum). Tim is hoping his Dolphins remain winless and Jackie hopes her Patriots can start playing for the Red Sox. We discuss Yanks announcer Suzyn Waldman's "Cry-baby-gate." And we bring grand-father of sports broadcasting, Red Cutter back for tales of elevator sex and a homicidal Joe Torre. Finally, Tim tries his best to get Jackie interested in college football but she thinks college football won't leave enough room in her brain for singing and dancing. After all, she's a lady.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

A-Rod Is In Your Extended Network

Now that another glorious end has come, A-Rod is looking to be in your Top 5

(courtesy of and their completely authentic MySpace pages of athletes)