Another Reason To Love Deadspin: They Hate Skip Bayless

Check out Deadspin today and vote on whether you approve of Skip Bayless or not. It is our opinion here that he is the most annoying voice on television. (DEADSPIN)

Cursing Is Cool

Now I hate showing something taped with a video camera off of a TV, this coaching tirade by the Seattle Mariners coach is too good to pass up. If I could have found it sans shaky video camera, I would have. 11 curse words are how you rant coaches.

TODAYS TOP STORIES

• Why can't Joe Dumars be the GM of my team? (Larry Brown Sports)

  "If he gets the feeling something isn’t right, regardless of how good the performance is, you have to make the change."

• The connection between Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant...Mitch Richmond (Mercury News)
  

  "Both guys, when they've got you in a cage, they're going to keep you in there," Richmond said this week. "They're going to kill you and keep killing you until you're dead."

• NHL season is over and luckily ESPN has the playoff cliff notes for us. (ESPN)

  "Sean Avery's strange puppet-boy dance in front of Devils goalie Martin Brodeur in the first round."

• Someone tell me if poll position really matters in Horse Racing. (ESPN)

  "The post could be a lucky one for an undefeated colt that really doesn't need any extra edge: It's produced the most Belmont winners (23) since 1905."

• Kelly Pavlick is a great boxer, so how can he make you care? (ESPN)

  "Every young star should get a future Hall of Famer on his record. Pavlik hasn't gotten one yet and may never. He must get one if he wants to be a star, and (Roy) Jones fits the bill."

Kimbo Sliced Up This Dude's Ear

Mixed Martial Arts is taking over where high school wrestling left off.

Put The Heat Back On!

The Heat are obviously more than one good offseason from turning it around, but there are still some pieces in place, that when healthy could contend for a playoff spot. If the Heat management makes some moves to complement the existing pieces, we could be right back into the playoffs. Here is what I would like to see happen to our roster. Draft Beasley, sign Diop, Duhon, and a cheap shooter. That would allow us to try to trade Haslem for another center or another point guard. It would leave us with a starting lineup of Diop, Beasley, Marion, Wade, Duhon. Diop would add that defensive presence in the front court and would not cost too much money. He is also young enough to get better instead of Mourning, who is far past his prime. Duhon has not been playing regularly all season, but when he gets in there he puts up good numbers (i.e. 22 points and 15 assists the other night), plus he is a very good defender at the point guard spot. Imagine bringing in 2 defenders to play with Marion in the starting lineup. This would make up for Wade and Beasley on that end of the court.

Bench would be Mourning (if he came back), D. Wright, Cook, Banks, [player from the Haslem trade], some cheap shooter, Joel Anthony, & 2nd round pick. I would not be adverse to resigning Chris Quinn, who has been playing great in the 2nd half of the season, or taking a longer look at Kasib Powell. The bench looks a lot like this years, except for whomever we could get for Haslem, and I am OK with that. I am banking on development from Cook, Wright, Anthony, and Quinn. Wright was really starting to play well when he got hurt, and Cook is only a rookie, so I expect more from him next year. Not every rookie can enter the league on fire. Remember he would only be a sophomore in college right now. As for the aforementioned Haslem trade, I am expecting that we can get a solid rotation player for him, from a team that feels they are one PF away from being a championship squad (i.e. Orlando, Houston).

Nobody Does A Bad Charles Barkley and Gets Away With It!

(Deadspin)

TODAYS TOP STORIES

These might not be the top stories of the day, but they are the things that interest me.

• Some Cardinals fans have a sense of humor. (Deadspin)
• It's about time the Red Sox fans forgive Bill Buckner. Apparently somebody just informed them that there was a Game 7 in that series. It was a really great moment to watch the fans give him an ovation. Buckner did not deserve to be the scapegoat for so many years. (ESPN)
• Not sure whose attention New York Magazine is trying to get, but I do know that the writer had some social standing issues in high school. (New York Magazine)
• Sometimes the worst teams in sports history don't necessarily have the worst record. New York Knicks really are disfunctional. (New York Magazine)
• Cause someone said the NHL playoffs are happening or might be starting soon. (ESPN)
  

Matt Leinart Channeling Joe Theisman

Those ESPN Guys Sure Like To Party

Stuart Scott get's down tonight with the ladies. Special appearances by Mr Belding and Charles Barkley.



Nobody stumps the Schwabb!

The Yankees Cause Suicide

Need Proof?

Here it is:

A man hijacked a Con Edison van after shooting a woman in the Bronx on Tuesday night, then shot and killed himself as the police closed in on him while he was stuck in traffic outside Yankee Stadium, the police said.

Or maybe he remembered Joba's fat head and neck covered in flies during the Cleveland series from last season.


Yankees Kill!

Happy Easter from Talk About It

Smush Parker Was A Little Too Hands-On for Pat Riley

"Send it in, Jerome"

It is never a bad time to hear those immortal words from March Madness's Mad Hatter Bill Raftery, but I'm going to see my team Pitt in the Garden tonight and this college basketball at its maddest.

Brett Favre Cries, Jackie Gets Turned On

Green Bay Packer QB, Brett Favre retired from football after 17 years in the NFL, 16 of them with the Packers. Favre held a press conference (see below) and displayed one of my favorite emotions: tough-guy trying not to cry.

Sure Favre is a great player and a pretty likable guy. He was great in "There's Something About Mary." I'm a Pats girl, not a Packer fan, I don't care so much about his retirement. When Tom Brady retires I will certainly shed some tears. I started watching the press conference just to have something on as white-noise. Then I became transfixed.



Here are some highlights:

0:15: We are a scant 15 seconds into the press conference and Favre shows his first sign of emotion. He does the ole "shake it off" trick. When that doesn't work he scratches his nose a bunch. You're not fooling us, Brett! You don't have a booger. You're gonna weep. When the scratching doesn't work he makes a "zurrrbrpt" sounds with his lips. Yup, a "zurrrbrpt" sound. If you don't believe me, watch.

Then he says, "I promised myself I wouldn't get emotional." I feel for him here. I make promises with myself I never keep: I promised myself I wouldn't have that second bottle of wine, I promised myself to sleep only 10 hours tonight, I promised myself not to place Ebay bids on clothes I already own...I feel your pain, Brett!

0:29: Ok, this is probably my favorite part in the whole thing and the reason why I wanted to write this post in the first place. Favre is trying to say "I hope that every penny that they [Packers] spent on me, they know was money well spent." It takes him 37 seconds to say this sentence. 37 seconds! I clocked myself saying this a few times and every time I said it, I came in under 10 seconds. He took nearly four times the average time to say it! (I am deeming my test the "average" for this post.) Brett actually takes a 20 second pause to try to collect himself. And he fails beautifully.

What does he do in his 20 second pause?
- He snorts. I mean a serious snotty snort. He breathes in and out a few times then sucks in a mad snort. And guess what? It is not disgusting. It is one of the sexiest things I've ever seen. (Why is repressed emotion so hot? I don't think I want to know the answer I am sure it is some sort of Elecktra/Daddy thing hardwired in my brain. I've got to remind myself to NOT bring this to therapy.)
- He covers his mouth
- He presses his eyes...He is physically trying to keep his sadness/tears in. That's an athlete for you, trying to control the body.
- Back to the mouth
- Big exhale
- Time to fix my collar!
- Sniffles
- Breathing
- Look to the heavens

4:11: More sniffing and snorting.

I guess one of things that is so interesting about a man crying is we glimpse into how he would act during sex. Crying, like sex, is intimate and vulnerable. So when Brett Favre gets all emotional one can imagine him in a delicate moment with the same intensity and passion. And, of course, it is now easy to imagine him crying after sex.

When A Fould Isn't A Foul