Monday, July 30, 2007

NBA Chit Chat




  • KG to the Celtics gets heated up
    • Talks between the Celtics and T'Wolves are back on, and a deal is closer than ever. KG apparently liked the Celtics picking up Ray Allen enough to knock block a proposed trade. Last year Danny Ainge said the Celtics were an injury or two away from being a contender, but what he apparently meant to say was that they were a trade or two away. If this trade goes through, Paul Pierce would have received tons of help very quickly. Imagine teams in the Eastern conference trying to compete with the three headed monster of KG, Pierce, and Allen. KG would be the best power forward in the East, before he suits up, cause the East is lacking in good big men. Pierce and Allen are going to be dynamic on the perimeter, and even more so if KG is there to control the paint. Will there be enough shots for all of these guys to remain happy? I believe so, cause they have nobody else on the squad who really needs to score. There is the real question, what type of team will Danny Ainge assemble around these 3?
  • How do you like your PG, spread out or smushed?
    • Smush Parker joins the list of former Lakers to join the Heat, while badmouthing Kobe. Parker looks forward to playing with his new teammates; "D-Wade is more of a people person than Kobe". Parker was the Heat's last resort, after failing to get Maurice Williams, Steve Francis, and Juan Carlos Navaro. Parker is a solid guard, but does not exhibit the skills needed to be the point guard of a championship squad. Parker does however add to the athleticism of the squad, which was something Pat Riley wanted to do. The Heat still need help at the small forward spot, but it looks most likely that James Posey will be back. This is not a bad thing for the Heat, but they were hoping to add a 3rd stud to Wade and Shaq, and that is not Posey.
  • With Jason Kidd and Kobe Bryant on team USA, I have a hard time seeing them lose this summer. Those 2 guys are leaders on the court and in the locker room, something that the previous squads were missing.

Detlef Schrempf



This is the first in a 753-part series on great sports names (suggestions welcome).

Shame on the WWE



No Longer In A League Of His Own! Pacman Jones has signed on with the World Wrestling Federation. Yep this is the same guy who is being questioned in the shooting of former professional wrestler Tom Urbanski, which has left him paralyzed from the waist down. This story sickens me, b/c a guy like Pacman does not deserve another way of making money right off of his name, especially in a field that the victim of the crime made a living in. Jones is currently suspended by the NFL for all his misconducts, and one might think that the Tennessee Titans, who hold his rights would have a problem with him wrestling in the wring, but apparently they have "no issue" with the situation. Maybe they dream at night just like I do, that this guy gets the ass kicking he deserves.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

This Ref stuff is crazy huh?


Man, this stuff is nutstown...

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Andrew Bogut's just doing his part

With the NBA in hot water due to the gambling scandal, Bucks center Andrew Bogut does his duty in distracting the fans. Bogut claims to have lost a bet and this was his punishment, but it feels more like we are the ones being punished. I want to find the guy who he lost to and give him a swift kick to the nuts.

THE SNAKE EYES OF STAR WARS



Training camp is open. The Steelers signed Troy Polamalu, also known as The Snake Eyes Of Star Wars, to a long term contract. We might as well enjoy a picture of his hair now.

All is right in the world.


Monday, July 23, 2007

Grandmama

Talk of Larry Johnson coming back to NY to work for the NY Knicks reminded me of all those great commercials he did at the height of his career. Johnson was a very good power forward, whose back issues robbed him of a chance to be great. Here in this commercial though, I would argue that he was great.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Now We Know How The Cavs Made It To The Finals

FBI investigates NBA referee for connection to the mob's bets on NBA games.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2943095

Looks like David Stern is not the only doing some fixing in the NBA. Here is a breakdown courtesy of Bill Simmons on how the great fix of the 1985 NBA draft went down.

Here's the breakdown.

4:49: The hired accountant from Ernst & Whinney bangs one of the envelopes around around on the rim of the drum, presumably creasing one of the corners. Every other envelope goes in cleanly.

5:28: Stern reaches in and grabs a handful of envelopes, turns them over to look at them, and then drops all but one of them. The one he picks up is the one with the crease in the corner (pause it at 5:31 to see it). That envelope is placed at the #1-spot.

8:22: Stern announces that the Pacers get the 2nd pick, and thus, the Knicks have the first. Everyone in the building seems surprised but David Stern, who just looks guilty.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Straight from the Douche Bag movie

We have every ingredient needed to make this movie work. There is the group of drunk losers who feel it necessary to get the crowd around them pumped up for their shenanigans. Then upon a closer look, there is the token guy with no shirt, the token fat kid, and the plenitude of losers in jerseys.

EPISODE 6: Coach, I Think I Broke My Dick

The Idiots are back for Episode 6! Listen now

We are blowing things up like a steam pipe in mid-town. The world of sports is taking a bit of a breather so here's are summer sports movies wrap-up (even SI had the Hanson Brothers on the cover...cut us some slack!).

Jackie and Tim open the show talking about the Phillies losing 10,000 (...congratulations?), Tony Parker and Felicity Huffman get married and Jackie challenges Tim to eat a Baby Ruth...the white trash candy of the world. Then they get to movies. Tim quizzes Jackie on this years sports movie offerings...Mr. WOODCOCK anyone? And the idiots go over their best and worst of sports films. "The Cutting Edge" makes a "best of" list...guess who's - you are right! Tim's!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Sox Appeal, Don and Jerry!

"Sox Appeal" is a dating show on NESN. Every episode a single Red Sox fan is sent on three blind dates over the course of one Fenway game.

The show hasn't aired yet, but the Red Sox NESN commentators, Don and Jerry, LOVE to comment on the dates during the game. Take a look here

Fast forward to about 1:40 to hear them POINT BLANK LAUGH AT THE MAN. It is pretty amazing. They are some of the best announcers in the biz. Their comments during the April "pizza throwing" incident was priceless. So priceless I am including it here



Also take a look at the ad for "Sox Appeal" featuring several Red Sox players talking about what not to do on a date. I think I am demoting Kevin Youkilis from "future ex-husband" status and I am promoting Dustin Pedroia. Pedroia's advice "don't go." It is like we are already divorced! He also advices the man to pay for the date and to not be a "tight ass." SWOON!



Originally posted on JackieClarke.net

Tour de France takes a page out of Michael Vick's handbook

Michael Vick you have a phone call...

...it's the grand jury

PHILLY IS FOR LOSERS. YES, BUT...




An issue that is briefly touched on in the upcoming episode of our podcast, there is a lot of coverage lately of the Phillies being the first pro team to get to 10,000. News is slow and with nothing else to cheer for, Philadelphians are taking pride in this loser status.

But I was in Philly this last weekend and saw the above photo above the cash register in a cheesesteak place (Steve's Prince of Steaks - excellent sandwich). It is a reminder that every city's sports fans have a personality. A certain identity that fans take pride in. New York: conceited assholes. Boston: self-obsessed, dedicated drunk assholes. My own Pittsburgh: blue collar hard work. St. Louis: politeness (may only apply to baseball). For Philly, it is not known for being losers (the Cubs are much more associated with losing than the Phillies).

Philly = Rage

Philly fans hate. Their anger is the trait that sets them apart from other sports fans. Take the fun loving, high-flying afroed whirling 70's slam dunker Dr. J and hang a picture of him choking out Whitey.

Actually, it is a pretty bad-ass photo

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Mike Tyson seen taking the Charles Barkley approach to retirment

Iron Mike looks more like a pear than he does a former Heavyweight Champ these days. Might I recommend going on Shaq's weight loss show? Please Mike don't go out like this.

I Am Starting To Think The Tour de France Is Not A Sport

Monday, July 16, 2007

Episode 5: In Da Clink, In Da Club

Episode 5: In Da Clink, In Da Club

The Idiots are back for Episode 5!

You. Are. Welcome. Jackie and Tim tackle their hit list: NBA Finals, the Stanley Cup, racing a horse, Olympic logos or swastikas, ugly Olympians fully nude in Playboy, and baseball managers pitching a fit. Speaking of pitching and catching (and purple lips): A-Rod takes a trannie wanna be to a Toronto strip club. TALK ABOUT IT HAS EXCLUSIVE AUDIO OF A-ROD AND HIS MANLY WOMAN AT THE CLUB. Finally the idiots get real and talk about super fans who's love of sports may extend prison sentences. Special thanks to the Atlanta Hooters! Stephanie, your wings are spicy! LOL!

The Tour De France is still a sport

I knew the Tour De France was having a hard time cracking down on steroid cheats, but this guy takes the cake.

JAVELIN'S ARE JUST NOT SAFE ANYMORE



I have no clue what the announcers are saying, but it might be something like "Holy Shit look at that Javelin in that womans foot" or "Holy Fuck it is in that guys side"

THE HEAT IS OFF



It was a tough weekend for the Miami Heat, as they focused all their free agent attention on Maurice Williams, only to have him sign a larger contract with his former team, the Milwaukee Bucks. While courting Williams, the Heat missed out on chances at signing Steve Blake, Derek Fisher, and Jason Hart. None of those guys would have been the missing link for the Heat, but they are all upgrades over the point guards left on the free agent market. Left out there is Brevin Knight, Jannero Pargo, and an aging Steve Francis. Knight is a good backup, but his inability to hit open shots would be highly detrimental in the Heat's offensive system. Pargo is a perennial backup as well, which leads us to Steve Francis.

Francis is a former 3 time all star, but after last season with the Knicks, those all star days seem long gone. Francis seemed slow and out of place playing in the Big Apple, but so did a lot of guys last year. Would the Heat be willing to role the dice on him, banking that a change a of scenery and a chance to play with 3 future Hall of Famer's would have him focused again? When he was at his best, Francis was a bit of a ball hog, dribbling too much instead of getting the offense into a flow, but he also never had weapons like Shaq & Wade to work with.

For years now, Miami has been a perfect location for a mediocre point guards to come play and go on to big pay days elsewhere. Our system has made career seasons for Erik Murdock, John Crotty, Raefer Alston, & Damon Jones, just to name a few. All these guys left after their big season for the $, but never played as well. Would this system do the same for Francis? I hope so, because if you watched the Heat at all last year, you knew that if Wade was not creating the offense, the team became stagnant. Francis is the type of guy, if he is back to his old ways, that can get a shot off. He is not afraid of the big shot, which is another issue they had last season. If Francis is the point guard they opt to go with, then they are getting the best option on the market at the given time, something has to be said for that, but it cannot be overlooked that they missed out on some guys that might have fit better.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

HIT LIST for 7/10/07

-Home Run Derby Is Even Lame
Vladimir Guerrero of the Anahiem Angels won the home run derby last night by hitting 17 home runs. Nope, not 17 in the final round, but 17 total home runs over 3 rounds. This was one of the most boring all star events that I have ever seen, until Vlad won and jumped into the arms of a friend. Finally there was some action going on.

-Antoine Walker Robbed Again
Miami Heat forward Antoine Walker was robbed last night as his Chicago home. Police said there were no injuries, but that the crooks got away with a vehicle, cash, and jewelry. This is the second time that Walker has been robbed at gun point since he joined the league. In July 2000, Walker — then a Boston Celtic — was the victim of an armed robbery along with NBA center Nazr Mohammed as they sat in a vehicle at 4:15 a.m., waiting for a restaurant on Chicago's South Side to open. Police said at the time that three men approached and demanded cash and valuables, which included a $55,000 wristwatch. Sounds like Walker had a bit of the drunken munchies, and paid for it big time.

-Dan Patrick Set To Leave ESPN After 17 Years
Dan Patrick who came to fame by hosting the 'Big Show' (Sportscenter) with Keith Olberman has announced that he is leaving the network. Patrick has cut back on the episodes of Sportscenter that he hosts in the last few years, but could always be seen as the studio lead for their NBA coverage and heard on his daily radio show. Patrick was influential in bringing a comedic angle towards sports coverage, often times even cracking himself up on air. He leaves ESPN without a contract or another job to go to: "I didn't leave with something in mind, and that is probably not the best business decision you make," he said. "But I still want to do radio, I love the format and I don't want to do TV like I once did. I said goodbye without exactly knowing where I'm going to say hello to." Dan Patrick was one of the best and we wish him luck. Who knows what the future will hold, but if he wants to come work here, then there is a spot open.

Monday, July 9, 2007

NIKE WINS WIMBLEDON

Rain Delay: Talent Show

The Phillies had a massive rain delay last night, where players came out onto the field to help get the tarp set up. What was not shown however was what the players did once the cameras were off and the fans left. Here is a great clip of baseball players showing off their skills in the rain.

Gay-Rod Homers Again

While other players are struggling to keep up with the home run pace that previous seasons had set, Alex Rodriguez is not. The best home run hitter of the last 10 years was at it again on Sunday, blasting another home run to close out the first half of the season. That gives him 30 for the first half of the season, which makes him only the second player in Yankees history to reach the 30-homer mark, joining Roger Maris. I wish I was around when Maris was playing to see if he was hated as much as A-Rod was during his home run streak.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

HUMAN HIGHLIGHT FILM

By far the strongest dunker I have ever seen. Nicknamed "The Human Highlight Film," Dominique Wilkins always seems to be forgotten as a player, because of insane highlight tapes like this are so captivating.

Monday, July 2, 2007

NBA RANT (Post-Draft Edition:The Trades That Did Go Down)

The NBA Draft came and went last week without any blockbuster moves that most fans were hoping for. There were some moves made though that were pretty interesting.
- Since we are based out of NY, it is probably only fitting to address their move first. How does Zach Randolph fit in with a Knicks team that already has a beast on the low block in Eddy Curry? These players are in some way replicas of each other. Both guys are incredibly talented scorers, who have trouble on the defensive end, and on the glass. That being said, Randolph did average 10 rebounds a game last year, so he is getting better. The Knicks had trouble scoring the ball when Curry was on the bench last year, but I don't foresee them having that problem anymore. Add in Stephon Marbury, Jamal Crawford, and Quentin Richardson and the Knicks can score in so many different ways now. It will be interesting to see how all of these pieces blend together, because the guys I just mentioned are all really only known for their scoring. The Knicks have some solid role players in David Lee and Renaldo Balkman, which will help balance out this squad. These guys are pure hustle and should be on the court at all times with the offensive juggernauts now on the Knicks roster. Isiah took a chance on Randolph to help his squad get back into the playoffs, and did not really give up that much. I would say that it was a great deal in that respect.
Portland has been the most active squads over the 2 years on draft night. They have made the effort to rid themselves of bad character guys, while adding talented youth to the squad. This year was no different. By getting rid of Randolph, they lose a scoring machine, but also a guy who apparently was a problem in their locker room. Randolph was the last remaining player from the 'Jail Blazer' era, which GM Kevin Pritchard has been trying to disassociate from. In return for Randolph, the Blazers added a big man who can step away from the hoop and be effective. Channing Frye is a jump shooting big man, who should be a perfect complement to Greg Oden. Oden will make Frye look like a good defender, by shutting down the paint. Frye struggled a bit last season, but I think he is another great young piece for Portland. As for Steve Francis, I just don't see him sticking on the roster for long. Looking at the frontcourt of the Blazers, it is hard not to drool over their future when you see Oden, Frye, LaMarcus Aldridge, and Josh McRoberts. These guys on paper are perfect complements for each other, but will that play out on the court?

- The other big move of the night had Boston sending the #5 pick (Jeff Green), Wally Szczerbiak, and Delonte West for Ray Allen and Glen 'Big Baby' Davis. This move has been met with great skepticism by Celtics fans, but I really love it. Allen is one of the best shooting guards in the league, and will combine with Paul Pierce to give the Celtics the best wing combo in the East. Pierce has developed a great mid-range game, and Allen will keep the double teams from coming. The Celtics had a terribly tough time scoring last season when Pierce was hurt, but no longer should that be a problem, cause Allen can score from anywhere on the court. With these two on the wings and Al Jefferson inside, the Celtics are back on track. Jefferson was one of the best big men in the league during the second half of the season, and has been one of the most sought after players in the league this summer. The Celtics were smart to hold onto him, cause he will be the face of the franchise when Pierce decides to hang it up. Outside of those three guys, the Celtics have some solid young players in Ryan Gomes, Rajon Rondo, and Gerald Green. If those guys can continue their progress, I can see the Celtics battling for one of the final playoff spots.
Across the country, the Celtics trading partner, the Seattle Supersonics, made out fairly well themselves. By getting rid of Ray Allen, the Sonics have committed to a full rebuilding project. After taking Kevin Durant with their first pick, they got Jeff Green with their pick from the Celtics. Durant and Green were the two of the most versatile players in the draft and to come away with both of them is great. Durant will handle the heavy scoring burden, while Green will mostly play point forward; they are perfect fits for each other. It will be interesting to see what the Sonics do around these two, but there are some good players on their roster to start with. I love the addition of Delonte West to their backcourt. He is a smart player, who can start at the point or the two spot for a lot of squads, but is best suited to be the first guard off of the bench, which he will be here in Seattle. Luke Ridnour is a very poor man's Steve Nash, but will be good enough to start. He is quick to the hoop and can hit from outside, but struggles to keep other point guards in front of him. Will his offensive prowess be able to make up for his defensive struggles, only time will tell, but history says no. Outside of Ridnour, I like Chris Wilcox and Nick Collison at the power forward spot. Both of them hit the boards hard and provide some offensive punch to the lineup. If only the Sonics could figure out a way to combine these players, they would have an All Star power forward. Time will tell if the Sonics made the right move by getting rid of Ray Allen, but as it looks right now, their future is bright once again.