TODAYS TOP STORIES

• Paul Pierce and I have so much in common. We both like to abandon our cars and take taxi's when we are not drunk. After passing three DUI tests, he decided driving was just too much for him. (TMZ)
• Sign of the Armagedeon: David Beckham is now a bigger deal than Eli Manning. (IMDB)
• Brett Farve is officially the most qualified backup QB ever. (Sports Illustrated)
• Bill Belicheck Sex Tape????? (JoeSportsFan)
• I hope Mark Cuban becomes the owner of the Cubs, so we can have year round Cuban news. (Deadspin)