Yankees Love Rape

A friend of mine who happens to be a Yankee fan (I know, disgusting, but it is a product of living in NYC - this person happens to be a Yankee and a Cowboys fan so his seat is waiting for him in the pits of hell) sent me this joke:

Three baseball fans were on their way to a game when one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road. They stopped and discovered an unconscious, nude woman. Out of respect and propriety, the Yankees fan took off his cap and placed it over her right breast. The Blue Jays fan took off his cap and placed it over her left breast. Following their lead, the Red Sox fan took off his cap and placed over her nether region. The police were called and when the officer arrived, he conducted his investigation.

First, he lifted up the Yankees cap, looked, replaced it and wrote down a few notes. Next, he lifted up the Blue Jays cap, looked, replaced it and wrote down some more notes.

Then he lifted up the Red Sox cap, looked, replaced it, scratched his head, lifted it again and looked, replaced it, thought for a minute then lifted it again, looked and finally replaced it before writing down some notes. The Red Sox fan was getting a little upset and asked, "What are you, a pervert or something! Why do you keep lifting and looking, lifting and looking?"

"Well," said the officer, "I'm simply surprised. Normally when I look under a Red Sox cap I find an asshole."

There are a lot of things wrong with this joke. First of all, not funny. Jokes should make people laugh. Not a laugh to be found in this joke. If we learned anything from Imus's racist rumblings about the Lady Rutgers we have learned that if your defense is that "I made a joke" the comment needs to be funny.

Second, why would a Red Sox fan be hanging out with a Blue Jays fan and a Yankees fan? How the hell did the Blue Jays end up in this stupid joke? What did they do? Why are they being punished? Obviously the Yankees and the Red Sox have an epic rivalry but the Blue Jays? They are Canadian. Who cares about them? This is a clear case of "we need another team and I like birds...Blue Jays." Lazy joke telling.

But the real rub of this joke is that it is a RAPE JOKE! Only a Yankees fan would think it is cool to laugh at a nude woman on the side of the road. I found a cat on the side of the road once and guess what? IT WAS DEAD. I've seen "Law and Order SVU" I know nude girls on the side of the rode have been raped and murdered.

When I read that joke all I could think about were the 4 hookers killed in Atlantic City a few months back. I imagined this fantasy world where a Yankees fan, a Red Sox fan and a Blue Jays fan decide to ride down to AC and get a $4 blow-job. On the way to a shit-bag motel they happen upon a dead nude girl. The Red Sox fan and the Blue Jays fan are truly disturbed and contemplate how fragile life is. The Yankees fan thinks, "This is funny!"

Shame shame shame Yankees. Shame.

(Originally posted on JackieClarke.net)