NBA NOTES (HEAT BEAT)

With their 99 to 94 win over the Nets last night, the Heat are above .500 for the first time in what seems like an eternity. Heat fans know how bad last season was, which makes these little victories that much sweeter. While this team might have no shot against the Hornets or the Celtics yet, it is nice to pick up the wins you should get, like against the Nets. Coach Erik Spoelstra put the win in perspective last night, "It's significant with what we're trying to build at home. We're trying to make this a tough place to play, and we're trying to win our fans back." At the end of the day a W is a W and each one will help bring fans back to American Airlines Arena, and make teams worry about playing them.

The Heat needed a big fourth quarter comeback to win, and it was nice to see more than just Wade step up to propel it. Daequan Cook's defense on Vince Carter was huge last night, as was his stroke from the outside. I think it is safe to say now that last years first round pick was not wasted on Cook. The guy took some time to mature and learn how to play the right way, but he now is a consistent threat from the outside and turning into a defensive key as well. Another key off the bench last night was Chris Quinn, providing solid ball handling and clutch free throws down the stretch. As much as all of the fans think there are better options out there than Quinn, the guy is steady. He might not be a threat to ever take over a game, but he is good as a backup, because he will never do anything to lose you a game either. While Mario Chalmers develops, Quinn is a great stopgap.

MVP awards for the game go to Michael Beasley in the first half and Dwayne Wade in the second half. Beasley kept the team in the game last night in the first half with 15 points on a wide array of baskets. There were times in that half that he looked like an all star, but as the second half got going he seemed to run out of steam. When he is not involved in the offense, he seems to just float around on the court. Spoelestra needs to find ways to keep him active throughout the game and not just when he has the hot hand. Luckily for Beasley and the Heat, the 4th quarter belonged to Dwayne Wade as he scored 19 of his 33 points in the quarter. What was most exciting about those 19, was that 9 of them came on three pointers. Wade will never be mistaken for Glen Rice, but if he can hit a three pointer every now and then, it will open up the driving lanes as defenders will have to play him closer on the perimeter. Wade had his third consecutive 30 point game, which should put to rest all of the talk that the Olympics were an aberration and that Wade really is finished. The guy took some time to get into the swing of the season, but I think it is fair to say that he is in fine form, and that if this team can stay healthy, the playoffs are not out of reach.

QUICK THOUGHTS

• Joel Anthony has taken over for Mark Blount as the backup to Udonis Haslem, but he is just as bad. He had 4 rebounds, which for Blount could be a seasons worth, but the guy has rock hands and can't score on my mom. He is supposed to be a shot blocker, but the guy looks no taller than Beasley out there.
• The LA Clippers have put Chris Kaman on the trading block, which should intrigue the Heat. He is a legit 7-footer, who can score inside and get on the boards. Pat Riley has always been intrigued by Kaman, so much so that they almost drafted him over Dwayne Wade. With the addition of Marcus Camby in the offseason, Kaman has become expendable, and the Clips are either looking for a bruising power forward or expiring contracts to take in exchange. The Heat have both in Haslem and Shawn Marion. Haslem has been the heart of this team, so it would be tough to see him go, but with Kaman in the starting lineup with Beasley, Marion, Wade, and Chalmers, there is balance.
• Marcus Banks was active last night, but seems to have fallen out of the rotation already.
  

San Antonio Blues

Big time performances from a lot of superstars last night, but the one I want to focus on is Tony Parker of the San Antonio Spurs, who had 55 points and 10 assists in a double overtime win against the Minnesota Timberwolves. Parker's big night could not have come at a better time for the Spurs, as they had started the season 0-3 and could not afford to keep digging themselves into a ditch, while waiting for Manu Ginobli to return in December. The Spurs have had to rely so heavily on Parker and Tim Duncan to create all their offense that by the time the 4th quarter came around each player was worn down. Roger Mason Jr has been their only other consistent performer, and he is the type of player who you can't expect to do that on a nightly basis. So while Parker's big night was great, there is no way he can do that consistently.

Ginobli is not going to be back for a while, so the team is going to need consistent play out of the other guys, but I just don't see where that is going to come from. Michael Finley used to be a big time scorer, but that has not been for 4 seasons, so you can't expect him to get his legs back all of a sudden. The other players that log big minutes for them, Fabricio Oberto, Kurt Thomas, Bruce Bowen, and Jacque Vaughn are all specialists, who do not specialize in scoring. All of these guys focus more on defense, which has been great over the years, but without Ginobli, their offensive defiencies really hurt the team.

Parker and Duncan are All-NBA performers, but if the start of the season has shown anything, it is that they need more help these days, cause they are both getting older. Ginobli is a great player, but is he on his last legs as well? He has fizzled out the last few years in the playoffs, and recovering from an ankle injury should not help that from happening again. Is there a way to breath some life into this squad via trade? Maybe adding some fire power to the bench would help. What do you think?
Talk About Your It!

NBA NOTES

One week into the NBA season and there are just as many questions as there are answers. It has been great to see the offseason deals come together, whether good or bad. It is way to early to get a read on which teams are the real deal and which are going to be bottom feeders, and that is what is going to make this season interesting. Are the Lakers and Raptors really this good? Here are some thoughts from the first week:

• I think it is safe to say that Shawn Marion has lost a step, and now has left himself in a precarious position while heading into free agency. (Hoopshype)
• Memo to Jim Dolan, if you ever want to bring a winner back to NYC, it is best to open up your wallet and get rid of some deep weight. Stephon Marbury has been nothing but trouble for that organization and they need to make an example of him, before he acts out again. (NY Daily News)
• Jermaine O'Neal brings the type of toughness to the Toronto Raptors that they have been missing for umm...forever. (The Star)
• The Suns have an opportunity to be beasts in the West, while Portland is quite a ways away from being a force in the league. When Shaq and Amare are healthy and not in foul trouble, the Suns can erase that title of softest team in the West. The only problem is, those 2 variables usually don't work out in the Suns favor. Outside of those 2 guys, there is not a player on that team that wants to mix it up down low. (azcentral)

Happy Halloween From The New Steel Curtain!

NBA NOTES (HEAT BEAT)

Opening night for the NBA was Tuesday night, but for most teams, including the Miami Heat, they laced up the shoes last night. It marked the beginning of the Eric Spoelestra, I mean Michael Beasley era, but it looked more and more like last years incarnation of the Heat. A squad that gives up 120 points and often times looks like it does not belong in the NBA. They ended up making a comeback in the 4th quarter to make the final defeat a respectable 5 points, but it was too little too late. Here are my thoughts from the game.
-Most members of the team looked pretty bad, with the exception of Udonis Haslem, Marion Chalmers, and Daquan Cook.
-Even against Knicks, who do not have a prototypical Center, Haslem looked undersized. His effort will get him by on a lot of nights, but you got the idea last night that this team is really going to struggle against any kind of height. The small ball lineup will only work if Haslem gets some help on the boards.
-Chalmers was a revelation last night, looking as if he were in the league for 7 years and not just 7 pre-season games. He was a little shaky early on, but as the game went on he controlled the tempo and got his teammates in position to be effective. It was surprising how well he did on the boards, but it was also a blessing, cause Michael Beasley was nowhere to be found.
-Beasley admits to having some first game jitters, as to be expected when suiting up for the first time at Madison Square Garden, but the Heat need to do a better job of getting him shots in his comfort zones. He spent too much of the game hanging out at the three point line, which helps account for his 4 rebounds. It is difficult to get boards when you are hanging out on the perimeter all game. You could see Beasley's talent when he took it too the hoop, but too often he looked like he was lacking the drive/hunger that makes a player great in this league. He needs to attack the hoop with regularity which will open up the outside shot, instead of the other way around. I think Spoelestra needs to find a way to get Beasley playing from the high post and in, until he gets comfortable in the league.
-Dwayne Wade finished the night with 26 points, 9 assists, and 7 rebounds, but spent too much of the night complaining about not getting a call or not getting a ball when he wanted it. If he is going to be the leader of this team, he needs to show his young teammates a better example than the one that was on the court last night. For all the yelling that Michael Jordan did at referees and his own teammates, you never saw him out of position on defense. Too often Wade jogged back down the court complaining while the Knicks were playing 5 on 4. This criticism of Wade has been around for 3 seasons now, and it is about time that some coach figures out a way to get it figured out. Jamal Crawford had 29 points last night mostly by beating Wade up the court and taking advantage of the Heat scrambling around to cover up. At the end of the night, Wade will consistently fill the stat sheet, but if he is to lead the Heat back to the playoffs, he is going to need to start doing the little things that make the difference.
-Shawn Marion is a fantasy basketball dream come true, but in reality the guy should be nothing more than a 3rd or 4th option on a team. I think my 7 year old cousin could beat him in a shooting contest. His points come off of hustle plays, which is great, but to have him spotting up on the perimeter is a waste of a possession. He should be slashing to the hoop and playing the baseline only. How he ever got this far without learning how to shoot a jumpshot is mind boggling. On the positive side, he does help us a lot on the boards and he gets back on the defense all the time. His on ball defense leaves something to be desired, but so does everyone else on the teams.
-Daquan Cook is a very good shooter, who needs to play more. He spreads the floor nicely, which will help Wade and Beasley get to the hoop easier.
-Marcus Banks looked good going to the hoop, but he struggled shooting from outside. Hopefully his shooting in the preseason is more typical of what we will see this season. He is able to play the point or the shooting guard, which is something that will come in handy on this squad filled with mostly multi-position players.
-It was good to see Sean Livingston back, but he has a ways to go before he is in basketball shape. After such a horrific knee injury a few years back, it will be interesting to see if his body will ever catch up with his mind. It was a good gamble by the Heat to bring him in, and hopefully pays off before the season ends.
-Mark Blount is useless. He was in the game for less then 2 minutes when he hoists up a 3pointer. Someone needs to tell him he was the tallest guy on the court, so he should hang out under the hoop.
-The Heat struggled a lot last night, but there were still things to get excited about as a fan. My gut tells me that they are going to be a .500 team heading into the All Star Break, and then come out playing much better in the second half. Chalmers and Beasley will have great games just as often as they have bad games, but the key is to be patient with them. They both look like they will be starters for years to come, which will be amazing for the Heat. We have not had guys stick around since those Tim Hardaway squads that battled the Knicks in the 90's. If you notice around the NBA, most teams that win championships are teams that are built through the draft and are allowed to grow together. There is always the exception, last years Celtics, but the Heat should take a page out of the book of the Spurs and the Pistons. Let these guys grow up together, while adding complementary pieces around them. The core of this squad is Wade, Beasley, Chalmers, and the heart is Haslem. See ya Shawn Marion!

Patrick Ewing Taking Retirement Casually

SHORTS? REALLY!!!!!!!!!

What Is Your Son's Name?

Chad Ocho Cinco born 6'2", 192 lbs to the Cincinnati Bengals.

TOP NBA FIGHTS

Olympic Committee Takes People In The Middle Of The Night And Puts Them In The Stands In Order To Set Attendance Record

Photo Of The Day

The President likes to play him some Volleyball...so that's what they call it these days.

The Original Dream Team (10 Best Moments)

NBA Rookie Of The Year

Portland Trailblazers center, Greg Oden, finally gets back on the court and looks to make good this season on the promise he showed 2 years ago when he was drafted #1 after his freshman season at Ohio State. Remember when media types were talking about the dearth of quality young big men in the league after Patrick Ewing, David Robinson, and Hakeem Olajuwan retired? Well I think Oden represents the new group of center domination that we are likely to see for the next 15 years, with the likes of Dwight Howard and Andrew Bynum. These three players have superstar written all over them. One level down there are players like Andrew Bogut, Al Horford, and Al Jefferson, who will all be All Stars, but not Hall of Fame caliber guys. Overall, this is an exciting time once again for fans of the big men in the NBA. There are still holdovers like Shaq, Yao Ming, Tim Duncan, Tyson Chandler, and Rasheed Wallace, that are at varying times in their career, but no center conversation can be made without them. This is going to be a great season in the paint.

Brett Favre Takes His Act To Broadway

TODAYS TOP STORIES

• Brett Favre headed to Tampa Bay? Maybe by the end of the day.
  
• Dan Marino to go Dancing With The Stars. As a Dolphins fan I always dreamed of the day that Marino would throw on the uniform and compete again, but I never thought it would be tights and a too too. Marino was never known for his fancy feet so it should be quite interesting to see how he is out there dancing. (Sun-Sentinal)
• OJ's time and co-defendants are running out. (Deadspin)

Team USA Making Their Presence Felt In Beijing

They have not been in Beijing for more than a week and already Team USA is wreaking havoc.

[W]ith their first game — against the host country — approaching this Saturday, the local papers are already ganging up on Team USA. That is to say: They’re accusing stars LeBron James, Carmelo Anthony, and Dwyane Wade of soliciting prostitutes. Well, not prostitutes exactly — “female technicians.”(New York Magazine)

I love the term "female technicians". It makes it sound like these girls have come over and helped these guys with their wi-fi connections and iPhone's, but in reality these girls are 'technicians' in the bedroom. I knew lots of guys in college who would brag about themselves being 'technicians,' but I doubt they ever thought they could get paid for making that claim. Let's wait and see if more reports of this comes out before we believe it.

Summer Movie Fun

From the comedy team that brought you ____ and ___ comes the buddy flick that is perfect for people of all ages.

TODAYS TOP STORIES

• Paul Pierce and I have so much in common. We both like to abandon our cars and take taxi's when we are not drunk. After passing three DUI tests, he decided driving was just too much for him. (TMZ)
• Sign of the Armagedeon: David Beckham is now a bigger deal than Eli Manning. (IMDB)
• Brett Farve is officially the most qualified backup QB ever. (Sports Illustrated)
• Bill Belicheck Sex Tape????? (JoeSportsFan)
• I hope Mark Cuban becomes the owner of the Cubs, so we can have year round Cuban news. (Deadspin)
  

SHARKTRUTH.JAWS???? WTF

What is going on here? Someone has too much time on their hands. Is this real? If so I am outraged, I love sharks and PETA should do something about this. Save the sharks. In a world with no sharks, who will star in the next Jaws.
Let's get to the bottom of this.

MJ Treating Campers Like They Are Byron Russel

What? Someone Other Than Me Is Still Watching Shawn Kemp Highlight Films?

Rumor has it that a pro team in Italy is trying to woo former NBA All Star Shawn Kemp overseas to play basketball again. Kemp who has not played since the 2002-03 season, is far from his days of high flying dunks, but you can't blame the team for trying to capitalize on his past.
Here is a great highlight tape of Shawn Kemp at his best:

I Have A Feeling We Are Going To Love Ron Artest In Houston

If you go back to the brawl, that's a culture issue right there. Somebody was disrespecting me, so he's got to understand where I'm coming from. People that know me know that Ron Artest never changed.

--Ron Artest in response to his new teammate, Yao Ming's, comments on about Artest's history with fighting. It is amazing that this guy still has no remorse for going into the stands after a fan and inciting a brawl. This is the same brawl that lead to him being suspended for the remainder of the season (73 games plus playoff appearances). This is the longest non-substance or gambling related suspension in NBA history. Eight other players (four Pacers and four Pistons) received suspensions, without pay, that ranged from one to thirty games in length. Each of the Pacers players involved were levied fines and ordered to do community service. Several fans were also charged and were barred from attending any events at the Palace for life. Artest lost approximately $5 million in salary due to the suspension.

Looks like Artest has nothing to feel bad about there.

Hopefully, [Artest isn't] fighting anymore and going after a guy in the stands.

--Yao Ming

Talk About It: The Best Of Year One

It's SUMMER TIME and it's too hot to talk sports, although it doesn't seem too hot for A-Rod to bang another man-woman. The Talk About It Idiots are on summer hiatus but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy some past TAI fun. We've put together a best of clip to help you along. Jackie and Tim play "Colorado Rockie, Arizona Diamondback or member of George W. Bush's cabinet," talk fat people and running, Tim cries about the Dolphins, the idiots visit the Sports Psychic, talk to a broadcasting legend and play exclusive audio of Tony LaRussa sleeping off a night of drinking in his car.
(Click Here To Listen)

Is Jeff Kent teamates with Hideki Matsui?

What a dick Jeff Kent is. The guy won't even look at porn with his teamates:

I don't hang out with the guys — never have. I don't go out drinking, look at porn, have a girlfriend or get divorced — so I'm selfish. (LA TIMES)

NBA Notes (WEDNESDAY)

Seems like yesterday I was talking about the lack of big moves in the NBA, while also preaching about the impact that the smaller moves will have on the upcoming season, and here we are today with a big name changing teams.

• Ron Artest was acquired last night by the Houston Rockets for Bobby Jackson, Donte Greene, a future first round pick, and 1 million dollars in cash. Artest is a difference maker who will immediately make the Rockets one of the top teams in the Western Conference. This is the same Rockets team that had a 22 game winning streak last season without him and without Yao for most of it. ESPN's John Hollinger reports that the Rockets are going to attempt to play Artest at power forward in a starting lineup with Yao, Shane Battier, Tracy McGrady, and Raefer Alston. That is as strong a lineup as there is in the league, and they have a very good bench led by Luis Scola, Brent Barry, and Luther Head. The Rockets were one of the best defensive teams in the league last season, but had trouble at times scoring the basketball. We all know that Artest is mostly known for his defense, but the guy is a career 16ppg guy, and that will help alleviate the pressure on McGrady and Yao to carry the load. Every team would love to have a guy like Artest be their third option on offense. He can score inside and out and will demand double teams on the block, which will allow their three point shooters to flourish. It will be interesting to see how he handles covering the power forwards on nightly basis, but he is strong and crafty, which is what you need to succeed down there, and he also has Yao behind him to block shots. Artest, Battier, and McGrady are all versatile defenders who can switch up depending on the match up, so maybe it will not be an issue at all. Any Artest conversation has to include his well documented personal history, which has been shaky his whole career. Will he keep himself in line all season? Who knows, but the Rockets have two things going for them, he has a great history with Rick Adelman, and he is in a contract season and looking for a long term deal from some team. These are strong factors, but who knows with him if they are enough to keep him from straying. For the time being, the Rockets put themselves over night into the conversation with the Lakers, Spurs, and Hornets as the top squad in the West. Artest brings the toughness that was arguably the missing ingredient for the Rockets. Will the get past the first round finally? Stay tuned.
• The Chicago Bulls have verbally agreed to a 6 year, 71 million dollar deal with restricted free agent Luol Deng. Deng, 23 years old, is a key piece to the future of the Bulls and they could not afford to see him go anywhere else. He is developing into the teams go to scorer and they believe that he will flourish alongside rookie point guard Derrick Rose. Rose will push the tempo and Deng will get a ton of easy looks on the wing because of it. Is this the year Deng makes good on his talent and becomes an all star? The money they are paying him sure makes it sound like the Bulls believe so. Now the team can turn their attention to their other restricted free agent, Ben Gordon.
• Bye Bye Nets and hello Moscow. Nenad Kristic we hardly knew ya!

NBA NOTES (TUESDAY)

Just when you thought that the NBA Off season was going to slow down we get a flurry of activity like we have had over the last few weeks. Now there have been no big moves like earlier in the off season when we had Elton Brand and Baron Davis switching up teams, but there have been some smaller moves that should not go unnoticed.

• Baron Davis's new Clippers team has not sat still since his addition by also adding Marcus Camby and Ricky Davis. Camby was stolen from the Nuggets for some 2nd round picks, and while he will not give you the offense that they lost when Elton Brand left, he will provide rebounding and shot blocking. Camby is not a great on ball defender, but he is one of the best weak side help defenders in the league. It was only two seasons ago that he was hoisting the defensive player of the year trophy, so expect good things in that regard. One of the reasons that Camby's numbers could rise is newly acquired swingman Ricky Davis. Davis is a defensive nightmare for both his squad and opposing teams. He can get you 15 points just as easily as he can give it up. His second go around with the Heat further showed his inability to take coaching. He was never an attitude issue, but the guy could not stay within the offense at all. Coach Dunleavy will have his hands full trying to get both Davis's to play with any structure, but if he can do so, this team could be dangerous. Chris Kaman and Al Thorton are two young studs who will benefit strongly from Baron and Camby's veteran leadership, and this should allow the team to sneak up on some people. Look for the team to put up high scoring marks night in and night out.
  
• The Charlotte Bobcats reached a six-year contract worth at least $72 million with restricted free agent Emeka Okafor. That is a lot of money for a guy who only averaged 13 points per game, but Okafor's real strength is his shot blocking and rebounding. The Bobcats did the right thing in keeping him on the squad, because they could not afford to lose him, with the lack of depth they have in the frontcourt. If they could ever find a big man to place alongside Okafor that could score the Bobcats would be very good. Nazr Mohammed and Sean May are not the answer up front, so maybe they could try to utilize Raymond Felton in a trade for someone like Zach Randolph. Coach Larry Brown might be a bad fit with Randolph, but he did make it work with Rasheed Wallace in Detroit so I would not think it is out of the question.
• Speaking of Detroit, by adding Kwame Brown to their squad they shore up their depth in the frontcourt. They needed a young replacement for Theo Ratliff who can come in and give them some quality minutes. Brown will forever be associated with the word "bust", cause he was a picked #1 in the 2001 draft, yet he is a solid addition to a veteran team like the Pistons that suffered in the playoffs against the Celtics size and length.
• Their seems to be a trend out there in the NBA to get longer in the frontcourt, after seeing what the Celtics trio of Kevin Garnett, Kendrick Perkins, and PJ Brown did in the Finals to the Lakers combo of Pau Gasol and Lamar Odom. It is a copycat league, so look for more teams to try this model, if they can, while the others will settle for the small ball approach that the Suns employed for so long.
  

Fight Night at the Minor League Park

WNBA First Ever Fight

What is with all these female professional athletes fighting this week? First Danica takes a towel to the face and now Lisa Leslie goes flying by Rick Mahorn. After watching this from every angle, I don't see a Mahorn push like Leslie claimed, but more along the lines of him trying to hold her back. What resulted though was funny as players take their swings at Mahorn and then jump back when they realize nothing hurt him. Mahorn is a big dude who was best known as one of the hard hitting Bad Boys from his Detroit Piston days.
Here is a clip of Mahorn and Charles Barkley pulling a prank on Manute Bol.

Photo Of The Day

Part of Nike's new basketball campaign

2 Female Indy Car Drivers?

Happy Monday: Photo Edition

Steve Nash and Baron Davis take a bike ride together around Santa Monica, dressed like clowns.

Rookies Can Hit Buzzer Beaters Too

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant (Classic Wrestling)

Billy Packer's Hall of Blunders

Check out a collection of Billy Packer's lowest moments in commentating brought to you by COMPLEX.COM

Reason #1 To Love Soccer

Marbury Takes A Bite Out of Mike Tyson's Guide To Infamy...

by tattooing his head. Yep, it looks like Stephon Marbury might have run out of places on his body, cause why else would you tattoo your head. Whoever is this guys PR person, is just not doing their job. Someone needs to remind Marbury that this offseason is the biggest of his career, with his job and career on the line. While he should be doing anything he can to impress the new management in New York, he is up to his old wacky antics. He has a history of feuding with the coaching staff and teammates and I have to believe that this won't change that.

Seperated At Birth

Green Bay Packers Gm, Ted Thompson and former Talking Heads frontman, David Byrne win this weeks look a like award.

Jose Canseco Gets Knocked Out To Stay Relevant.

Another Reason Managers Should Use Deoderant

Corey Hart's Daughter Gets Doused With Champagne Just For Being Herself

Corey hart
by bsap11

Who's Getting Tired Of Manny Being Manny?

First Brad and Jen Break Up and Now Mike and The Mad Dog

After 19 years on the air together it looks as if Mike and The Mad Dog are headed their seperate ways. The logical thing would be for each to get their own show, but some question whether either has enough charisma or audience to carry their own program. For 19 years we all were fortunate enough to watch and listen as these two tried to hide their dislike for each other, while covering all things sports. They dominated the day time sports radio scene, but all good things must come to an end. Looks like it is time to start listening to Mike and Mike in the Morning.

Perseverance Pays Off

I was just made aware of this great story from a friend of mine and I thought I would share it with all of you. It is the story of Darren Erman, who was just offered an assistant coaching position by the Boston Celtics. While most of you have probably never heard of Darren, he is a true success story. Below you will find a link to Darren's journey from a high profile job at a law firm to becoming an assistant coaching position at a high school and on to a volunteer position with the Boston Celtics.
I met Darren a few years ago and he was telling me how he had submitted his resume and a letter to all the teams in the NBA with hopes of being brought on as a paid assistant, but nobody offered him a job. It was Brain Scalabrine who got him hooked up with the Celtics, where he has spent the past 3 years working his tail off. After years of hard work at a fraction of what he was making out of college, Darren's goal has been realized and he is now a full time assistant. It is hard workers like Darren that are behind that scene working everyday to improve players skill sets, but never get the recognition. Without assistants like Darren running Ray Allen through shooting drills while he struggled in the playoffs, he might never have broken out of his slump in time to win a championship. He will never be mentioned in the papers, cause it is his job to do this, but the remarkable thing is how he got here. Darren is the proud owner of a championship ring and now a job title to go with it. So to Darren, congratulations and keep up the hard work.

Here is the aforementioned article: Darren Erman

Welcome To The Machine

TODAYS TOP STORIES

• Vinny Del Negro offered head coaching job by the Bulls. Apparently all it takes to get a top coaching position is to have been a bench warmer on an NBA team. (ESPN)
• Michael Strahan to spend the next half of his life getting that gap fixed.
  
• Dominick Hasek is done dominating. I had no idea Hasek was still playing in the NHL, cause he rode the bench the last few seasons, but evidently I was wrong.

Another Reason To Love Deadspin: They Hate Skip Bayless

Check out Deadspin today and vote on whether you approve of Skip Bayless or not. It is our opinion here that he is the most annoying voice on television. (DEADSPIN)

Cursing Is Cool

Now I hate showing something taped with a video camera off of a TV, this coaching tirade by the Seattle Mariners coach is too good to pass up. If I could have found it sans shaky video camera, I would have. 11 curse words are how you rant coaches.

TODAYS TOP STORIES

• Why can't Joe Dumars be the GM of my team? (Larry Brown Sports)

  "If he gets the feeling something isn’t right, regardless of how good the performance is, you have to make the change."

• The connection between Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant...Mitch Richmond (Mercury News)
  

  "Both guys, when they've got you in a cage, they're going to keep you in there," Richmond said this week. "They're going to kill you and keep killing you until you're dead."

• NHL season is over and luckily ESPN has the playoff cliff notes for us. (ESPN)

  "Sean Avery's strange puppet-boy dance in front of Devils goalie Martin Brodeur in the first round."

• Someone tell me if poll position really matters in Horse Racing. (ESPN)

  "The post could be a lucky one for an undefeated colt that really doesn't need any extra edge: It's produced the most Belmont winners (23) since 1905."

• Kelly Pavlick is a great boxer, so how can he make you care? (ESPN)

  "Every young star should get a future Hall of Famer on his record. Pavlik hasn't gotten one yet and may never. He must get one if he wants to be a star, and (Roy) Jones fits the bill."

Kimbo Sliced Up This Dude's Ear

Mixed Martial Arts is taking over where high school wrestling left off.

Put The Heat Back On!

The Heat are obviously more than one good offseason from turning it around, but there are still some pieces in place, that when healthy could contend for a playoff spot. If the Heat management makes some moves to complement the existing pieces, we could be right back into the playoffs. Here is what I would like to see happen to our roster. Draft Beasley, sign Diop, Duhon, and a cheap shooter. That would allow us to try to trade Haslem for another center or another point guard. It would leave us with a starting lineup of Diop, Beasley, Marion, Wade, Duhon. Diop would add that defensive presence in the front court and would not cost too much money. He is also young enough to get better instead of Mourning, who is far past his prime. Duhon has not been playing regularly all season, but when he gets in there he puts up good numbers (i.e. 22 points and 15 assists the other night), plus he is a very good defender at the point guard spot. Imagine bringing in 2 defenders to play with Marion in the starting lineup. This would make up for Wade and Beasley on that end of the court.

Bench would be Mourning (if he came back), D. Wright, Cook, Banks, [player from the Haslem trade], some cheap shooter, Joel Anthony, & 2nd round pick. I would not be adverse to resigning Chris Quinn, who has been playing great in the 2nd half of the season, or taking a longer look at Kasib Powell. The bench looks a lot like this years, except for whomever we could get for Haslem, and I am OK with that. I am banking on development from Cook, Wright, Anthony, and Quinn. Wright was really starting to play well when he got hurt, and Cook is only a rookie, so I expect more from him next year. Not every rookie can enter the league on fire. Remember he would only be a sophomore in college right now. As for the aforementioned Haslem trade, I am expecting that we can get a solid rotation player for him, from a team that feels they are one PF away from being a championship squad (i.e. Orlando, Houston).

Nobody Does A Bad Charles Barkley and Gets Away With It!

(Deadspin)

TODAYS TOP STORIES

These might not be the top stories of the day, but they are the things that interest me.

• Some Cardinals fans have a sense of humor. (Deadspin)
• It's about time the Red Sox fans forgive Bill Buckner. Apparently somebody just informed them that there was a Game 7 in that series. It was a really great moment to watch the fans give him an ovation. Buckner did not deserve to be the scapegoat for so many years. (ESPN)
• Not sure whose attention New York Magazine is trying to get, but I do know that the writer had some social standing issues in high school. (New York Magazine)
• Sometimes the worst teams in sports history don't necessarily have the worst record. New York Knicks really are disfunctional. (New York Magazine)
• Cause someone said the NHL playoffs are happening or might be starting soon. (ESPN)
  

Matt Leinart Channeling Joe Theisman

Those ESPN Guys Sure Like To Party

Stuart Scott get's down tonight with the ladies. Special appearances by Mr Belding and Charles Barkley.



Nobody stumps the Schwabb!

The Yankees Cause Suicide

Need Proof?

Here it is:

A man hijacked a Con Edison van after shooting a woman in the Bronx on Tuesday night, then shot and killed himself as the police closed in on him while he was stuck in traffic outside Yankee Stadium, the police said.

Or maybe he remembered Joba's fat head and neck covered in flies during the Cleveland series from last season.


Yankees Kill!

Happy Easter from Talk About It

Smush Parker Was A Little Too Hands-On for Pat Riley

"Send it in, Jerome"

It is never a bad time to hear those immortal words from March Madness's Mad Hatter Bill Raftery, but I'm going to see my team Pitt in the Garden tonight and this college basketball at its maddest.

Brett Favre Cries, Jackie Gets Turned On

Green Bay Packer QB, Brett Favre retired from football after 17 years in the NFL, 16 of them with the Packers. Favre held a press conference (see below) and displayed one of my favorite emotions: tough-guy trying not to cry.

Sure Favre is a great player and a pretty likable guy. He was great in "There's Something About Mary." I'm a Pats girl, not a Packer fan, I don't care so much about his retirement. When Tom Brady retires I will certainly shed some tears. I started watching the press conference just to have something on as white-noise. Then I became transfixed.



Here are some highlights:

0:15: We are a scant 15 seconds into the press conference and Favre shows his first sign of emotion. He does the ole "shake it off" trick. When that doesn't work he scratches his nose a bunch. You're not fooling us, Brett! You don't have a booger. You're gonna weep. When the scratching doesn't work he makes a "zurrrbrpt" sounds with his lips. Yup, a "zurrrbrpt" sound. If you don't believe me, watch.

Then he says, "I promised myself I wouldn't get emotional." I feel for him here. I make promises with myself I never keep: I promised myself I wouldn't have that second bottle of wine, I promised myself to sleep only 10 hours tonight, I promised myself not to place Ebay bids on clothes I already own...I feel your pain, Brett!

0:29: Ok, this is probably my favorite part in the whole thing and the reason why I wanted to write this post in the first place. Favre is trying to say "I hope that every penny that they [Packers] spent on me, they know was money well spent." It takes him 37 seconds to say this sentence. 37 seconds! I clocked myself saying this a few times and every time I said it, I came in under 10 seconds. He took nearly four times the average time to say it! (I am deeming my test the "average" for this post.) Brett actually takes a 20 second pause to try to collect himself. And he fails beautifully.

What does he do in his 20 second pause?
- He snorts. I mean a serious snotty snort. He breathes in and out a few times then sucks in a mad snort. And guess what? It is not disgusting. It is one of the sexiest things I've ever seen. (Why is repressed emotion so hot? I don't think I want to know the answer I am sure it is some sort of Elecktra/Daddy thing hardwired in my brain. I've got to remind myself to NOT bring this to therapy.)
- He covers his mouth
- He presses his eyes...He is physically trying to keep his sadness/tears in. That's an athlete for you, trying to control the body.
- Back to the mouth
- Big exhale
- Time to fix my collar!
- Sniffles
- Breathing
- Look to the heavens

4:11: More sniffing and snorting.

I guess one of things that is so interesting about a man crying is we glimpse into how he would act during sex. Crying, like sex, is intimate and vulnerable. So when Brett Favre gets all emotional one can imagine him in a delicate moment with the same intensity and passion. And, of course, it is now easy to imagine him crying after sex.

When A Fould Isn't A Foul

Another Coach Losses His Mind

Monday Brought To You By The Patriots

Philly's Never-Win-A-Super-Bowl Shuffle '88

Ever Tried To Hit A Baseball In A Sailboat?

The roof is supposed to resemble a sail and I suppose it does. But it also kinda looks like a kids' pillow fort. Not to mention that the long post in the outfield originally reminded me of Montreal's Olympic Stadium.

(Yahoo Sports)

Holland Stlye

TAI fans get a double dose of ironic goodness. Not only has John McEnroe continued his quest to endorse ANY product, he has dragged our very own TIM CURCIO down with him.

KNICKS Players Can't Even Co-exist on the Bench

Surprise Surprise! It didn't take long for Zach Randolph to revert back to his childish ways and get into an altercation with a teammate. Randolph, if you remember punched teammate Ruben Patterson in the face during a practice scuffle in 2003, was seen last night throwing some water in Nate Robinson's face. I love the leadership or lack thereof on the Knicks squad as nobody got into either players face over the situation. I got to tell you I would not even want Isiah directing me as I tried to parallel my car into a tight spot, let alone lead my basketball team. It is time for James Dolan to see the light and fire Isiah.

Episode 13: Shaq Vows To Bring Super Bowl Back To New England

Download it here.


The Talk About it Idiots have a belated Valentines Day gift for you...another podcast! Whoa! Let's have a parade. Jackie and Tim start off episode "unlucky 13" with the Hitlist: is Brian McNamee a "psycho," do all Mets pitchers like cock...fighting, and hockey gets interesting with a near decapitation. Tim gets his NBA loving panties in a bundle with the Gasol/Shaq trades. Jackie wants to remind people that Shaq is still an old fat man. And the Idiots end with the Superbowl. Jackie is in a state of horrified shock over the Pats loss and still contends that if David Tyree were in jail he wouldn't have caught that insane pass, Tim is just happy that he got to talk about the NBA a segment earlier.

Never miss a podcast. Subscribe to th RSS feed here.

Josh Beckett Channels Shaq's Offseason Regiment

This image has to be a bit discouraging for Red Sox fans, as Beckett seems to have spent more time at the buffet than on the mound.

Berman's Favorite Curse Word

ESPN pulls down the Chris Berman videos off of YouTube. Guess they were not too happy with everyone finding out what a jerk Berman actually is.

Miami Heat 2.0

The dust has settled and it is now time to look at the new run and gun Miami Heat. The big news coming out of the NBA yesterday was Miami sending Shaquille O'Neal to Phoenix for Shawn Marion and Marcus Banks. While it is sad to see Shaquille the personality leave South Florida, his on court prowess had faded away. Without the talent to surround O'Neal with his skills seemed to diminish to the point where the Heat even with both him and Wade on the court still struggled for a win. Even with the dreams of landing a top 3 draft pick becoming a reality, the Heat seemed years away from getting their act together, so moving Shaq was the right move.

Not only did they move Shaq and his large contract, but they got back a 4 time all star, Shawn Marion, and young point guard who has not reached his potential, Marcus Banks. Maybe Banks will never reach his potential or maybe he just needed a team that had no other viable options. Banks came into the league as a super fast score first point guard, and that is still what he is 5 years into the league. Banks was brought to Phoenix for those reasons, but the Suns soon realized that they needed more of a setup guy with all of their scorers on the roster, however the Heat have no such issue. Banks joins a team that has all but given up on Jason Williams and has to have come to the realization by now that Chris Quinn is nothing more than a backup. A serviceable backup who can hit some shots from outside, but he is not a lead guard. Maybe Banks seizes the moment and fills the hole at the point or maybe he just becomes another contractual burden, at the end of the day he was just a throw-in to get Shawn Marion.

Marion is young and energetic player who can play at either forward spot, while guarding any player on the court. There is nothing on the court athletically that he can't do, and that was always on display with the fast breaking Suns, but will his game translate to the Eastern Conference? Marion has always thought of himself as a top ten player in the NBA, who was underutilized in the Suns offense, and that created a rift in the locker room. Like I mentioned earlier, the Heat are not a roster that has many options for scoring outside of Wade, so Marion will always have the green light. Even if he proves himself wrong and is not a go to guy, he is so active that it is hard to believe that he won't still get 15-20 points just being around the bucket.

Marion's activity is what has made him an all star and a stat sheet filler. He will help right away, cause he gets his hands on so many balls. Whether it is via rebounding, blocking shots, or getting steals; he has one of the best all around games. Many scouts have said that he is the reason that the Suns are able to play fast paced so effectively. His constant motor forces the tempo on both ends of the court. With Alonzo Mourning out for the season the Heat has no defensive identity, but Marion will quickly change that. Hopefully the sight of Marion locking down the other teams best player will inspire Wade to lock in defensively as well. For as great as Wade is on offense he has been abissmal on defense, and if the Heat is going to ever turn it around he needs to make the commitment to playing both ends. That is what made Michael Jordan the best and that is why separates Kobe Bryant from Dwayne these days.

So the All Star Game is a few weeks away and the Heat have made the choice to fully rebuild around Wade, with hopes that Marion can be the perfect complement, but if the season does not show enough promise expect Marion to opt out and the Heat would then have tons of cap space to pursue another superstar in a great crop of free agents.

TODAYS TOP STORIES

• Pedro Martinez fights with his cock. (Deadspin)
• Time to call a spade a spade: Belicheck is an asshole (Armchair GM)
• Bloody Syringes (ESPN)
• Head West old man (Sun Sentinel)
  

Don't Leave Cake At My House After the Pats Lose the Superbowl

It is Wednesday. It has been three days since the Patriots stunned me by losing the Superbowl. I am starting to feel better but every so often it just hits me like a gut-punch: they lost. At the risk of appearing one-thousand-percent insane, the only other times I have had that feeling - that sitting on the subway reading a book and the overwhelming sense of reality descends - are during deaths and unusually bad break-ups.

I even dreamed of the Superbowl. Sunday I dreamed that a friend of mine emailed me a bunch of gibberish which contained the secret to why the Pats lost. I have been informed that is the dream of a crazy person.

Monday, in a fit of Boston pride, I decided to wear my Patriots cap as a form of moral support. For whom, I have no idea. I expected to get into a bunch of fights with NYC Giants fans. The only response I got was a homeless man who yelled out "I feel your pain." Most people just looked at me with pity.

My friend Matt over at the Big Eaters Club saw my "fan-gear display in the face of a humiliating loss as some sort of sublimated mate-seeking behavior." I think he's wrong. He also told me "it's just a fucking sports team. You need a baby." Keep in mind, this is the same friend who brought a giant cake to my house on Sunday with a "4" candle on it. (Four Superbowl wins in this century for my gay blog readers.)

That same cake has been my constant companion during these trying times. If Monday (my birthday incidentally) had a theme it would have been "cake and crying." In the last four days I have eaten enough of this cake to send me into a diabetic coma. Which would be fine. Wake me for pitchers and catchers.

This whole debacle reminds me of the 1985 Superbowl. I was just a kid that year. The Pats were wild underdogs all season. When they made the Superbowl, New England went crazy with Pats pride. Me included.

It became pretty clear early on in that game that the Pats were over matched. Even a girl child like me could tell that they weren't losing, they were being murdered on TV. It was one of my first feelings of clear shame.

I had no grasp on the idea that the Pats could lose. I was a kid. I just thought your team won. And now, 23 years later and I still can't grasp the concept of losing. Which is borderline insane as I am a New England sports fan. As my friend Chris* (who’s a Mets fan so he’s been laid out by a devastating loss or two) put it: “you're a Red Sox fan, so you are familiar with heartbreaking losses, but I don't think you ever get used to it.”

No, you don't. But you keep coming back.

The difference between 1985 and 2008 is that I can handle the loss this time. In 1985 I was devastated more than I had any right to be. I wasn't much of a football fan, I was just a child. But the elation immediately followed by disappointment was too much for my tiny soul to handle.

Now I see that only in loss can one find those moments of humanity that are heartbreaking. (Keep in mind I prefer winning to life lessons. I like winning. But since my team lost, on to the moments.) Like my nephew, Troy dolling out hugs at the Superbowl party to the devastated masses, a text from a gay friend saying "I don't know much about football but I know about feelings...hope you are OK," a late night email from a Bears fan living in LA that said, "I feel your pain." It's how people should act when someone dies except people don't know how to act when someone dies. I guess that's what sports gives us, a safe haven to be human.

My nephew stayed with my on Sunday night and the next day I wanted to explain to him why people got so upset about the game. He seemed to get it and as we were walking towards the subway I said to him, "The thing about losing is..." Troy finished my sentence, "there's always next year." He's a true New England fan.

* Chris has a great blog that I was going to link to but I can't right now. He's a Giants fan and has, as is his right, a column about the big upset. Yes, that makes me a nelly and a weenie-genie, but it is my blog. Lay off!

Hillary Clinton likes Waffles

Eddie Murphy To Predict The Super Bowl Next

The Truth Behind The Cowboys Loss!

Eli Manning's Dad Thinks He Stinks!

I am very excited that the New England Patriots are going to the Superbowl (a day before my birthday)!

And I'm surprised that the NY Giants upset Green Bay to take the NFC title. I dread living in NYC as a Patriots fan is going to be torture for the next two weeks. Already I'm getting stupid IMs and texts from my Giants loving friends who are convinced that the Giants will take away the Patriots (so far) perfect season.

Like this gem from my dope of a friend, Ivan (who lives in Boston now, incidentally): ALL OF A SUDDEN, THERE WAS ONE TEAM LEFT BETWEEN A PERFECT SEASON AND THIS TIME WE WON'T LOSE. The caps are all his. Giants fans like to scream. Even over Instant Message.

The Pats faced the Giants in their last game of the regular season. Conventional wisdom said that the Giants, a wild-card team, would rest their starters and this would be an easy win for the Pats. Nope. They played everyone and played well. The Pats won but they won ugly. Most sports talkers credit that game for giving the Giants their mojo. So the Superbowl should be a good game.

Today I'm reading the post-mortem on all of the games and most of the NYC papers are anointing Eli Manning the Second Coming of Sliced Bread when I happened upon this article in the NY Times with this quote from Eli Manning's father:

“We’re not saying he’s Phil Simms or anything,” Archie Manning said after his son had gone to the interview room. “I just never thought he was as bad as some people thought he was.”

I almost feel bad for the droop-faced schlub. I am sure Christmas at the Manning household went something like this:

Petyon: Yay! A bike! And a telescope! And a box filled with my parents love and approval!
Eli: Yay! Underwear!

Eli Manning's Daddy thinks he stinks. And he said so in the NY Times, the paper of record. Giants have no chance.

GO PATS!

Episode 12: Lifetime Television for Women Presents the Terrell Owens Story

Listen HERE



Happy New Year! And welcome to the first podcast of 200Great! Jackie and Tim start out strong with the Hitlist. They try to talk hockey but Tim fell asleep. So the Idiots stick with the big news. And the big news of late has been crying, steroids and playoff football! The steroid scandal gets weirder with Clemens roiding out during a press conferences about and entertainment luminaries, Mary J. Blige and Tyler Perry are implicated. Huzzah Wuzzah!?!

Jackie reminds Tim that he owes her $100 and plays him a taped phone conversation to prove it. (If you listen close enough you can hear the tears drop on the phone.) But Tim redeems himself and his manhood with a kick-ass exclusive interview with Dallas Cowboys playoff killer, Jessica Simpson.

"I'm not a big gay guy"

Joe Simpson Brings Down Another Career

"Joe is well-known for his deals with the paparazzi, where the family gets a cut from the sales of the photographs," says an insider.
The Superficial

Dan Majerle to join the Harlem Globtrotters

The Mike Gundy Used Car Sales Pitch

Chris Bosh's Spaghetti Western

Scottie Pippen's Sex Sandwich