Another Coach Losses His Mind

Monday Brought To You By The Patriots

Philly's Never-Win-A-Super-Bowl Shuffle '88

Ever Tried To Hit A Baseball In A Sailboat?

The roof is supposed to resemble a sail and I suppose it does. But it also kinda looks like a kids' pillow fort. Not to mention that the long post in the outfield originally reminded me of Montreal's Olympic Stadium.

(Yahoo Sports)

Holland Stlye

TAI fans get a double dose of ironic goodness. Not only has John McEnroe continued his quest to endorse ANY product, he has dragged our very own TIM CURCIO down with him.

KNICKS Players Can't Even Co-exist on the Bench

Surprise Surprise! It didn't take long for Zach Randolph to revert back to his childish ways and get into an altercation with a teammate. Randolph, if you remember punched teammate Ruben Patterson in the face during a practice scuffle in 2003, was seen last night throwing some water in Nate Robinson's face. I love the leadership or lack thereof on the Knicks squad as nobody got into either players face over the situation. I got to tell you I would not even want Isiah directing me as I tried to parallel my car into a tight spot, let alone lead my basketball team. It is time for James Dolan to see the light and fire Isiah.

Episode 13: Shaq Vows To Bring Super Bowl Back To New England

Download it here.


The Talk About it Idiots have a belated Valentines Day gift for you...another podcast! Whoa! Let's have a parade. Jackie and Tim start off episode "unlucky 13" with the Hitlist: is Brian McNamee a "psycho," do all Mets pitchers like cock...fighting, and hockey gets interesting with a near decapitation. Tim gets his NBA loving panties in a bundle with the Gasol/Shaq trades. Jackie wants to remind people that Shaq is still an old fat man. And the Idiots end with the Superbowl. Jackie is in a state of horrified shock over the Pats loss and still contends that if David Tyree were in jail he wouldn't have caught that insane pass, Tim is just happy that he got to talk about the NBA a segment earlier.

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Josh Beckett Channels Shaq's Offseason Regiment

This image has to be a bit discouraging for Red Sox fans, as Beckett seems to have spent more time at the buffet than on the mound.

Berman's Favorite Curse Word

ESPN pulls down the Chris Berman videos off of YouTube. Guess they were not too happy with everyone finding out what a jerk Berman actually is.

Miami Heat 2.0

The dust has settled and it is now time to look at the new run and gun Miami Heat. The big news coming out of the NBA yesterday was Miami sending Shaquille O'Neal to Phoenix for Shawn Marion and Marcus Banks. While it is sad to see Shaquille the personality leave South Florida, his on court prowess had faded away. Without the talent to surround O'Neal with his skills seemed to diminish to the point where the Heat even with both him and Wade on the court still struggled for a win. Even with the dreams of landing a top 3 draft pick becoming a reality, the Heat seemed years away from getting their act together, so moving Shaq was the right move.

Not only did they move Shaq and his large contract, but they got back a 4 time all star, Shawn Marion, and young point guard who has not reached his potential, Marcus Banks. Maybe Banks will never reach his potential or maybe he just needed a team that had no other viable options. Banks came into the league as a super fast score first point guard, and that is still what he is 5 years into the league. Banks was brought to Phoenix for those reasons, but the Suns soon realized that they needed more of a setup guy with all of their scorers on the roster, however the Heat have no such issue. Banks joins a team that has all but given up on Jason Williams and has to have come to the realization by now that Chris Quinn is nothing more than a backup. A serviceable backup who can hit some shots from outside, but he is not a lead guard. Maybe Banks seizes the moment and fills the hole at the point or maybe he just becomes another contractual burden, at the end of the day he was just a throw-in to get Shawn Marion.

Marion is young and energetic player who can play at either forward spot, while guarding any player on the court. There is nothing on the court athletically that he can't do, and that was always on display with the fast breaking Suns, but will his game translate to the Eastern Conference? Marion has always thought of himself as a top ten player in the NBA, who was underutilized in the Suns offense, and that created a rift in the locker room. Like I mentioned earlier, the Heat are not a roster that has many options for scoring outside of Wade, so Marion will always have the green light. Even if he proves himself wrong and is not a go to guy, he is so active that it is hard to believe that he won't still get 15-20 points just being around the bucket.

Marion's activity is what has made him an all star and a stat sheet filler. He will help right away, cause he gets his hands on so many balls. Whether it is via rebounding, blocking shots, or getting steals; he has one of the best all around games. Many scouts have said that he is the reason that the Suns are able to play fast paced so effectively. His constant motor forces the tempo on both ends of the court. With Alonzo Mourning out for the season the Heat has no defensive identity, but Marion will quickly change that. Hopefully the sight of Marion locking down the other teams best player will inspire Wade to lock in defensively as well. For as great as Wade is on offense he has been abissmal on defense, and if the Heat is going to ever turn it around he needs to make the commitment to playing both ends. That is what made Michael Jordan the best and that is why separates Kobe Bryant from Dwayne these days.

So the All Star Game is a few weeks away and the Heat have made the choice to fully rebuild around Wade, with hopes that Marion can be the perfect complement, but if the season does not show enough promise expect Marion to opt out and the Heat would then have tons of cap space to pursue another superstar in a great crop of free agents.

TODAYS TOP STORIES

• Pedro Martinez fights with his cock. (Deadspin)
• Time to call a spade a spade: Belicheck is an asshole (Armchair GM)
• Bloody Syringes (ESPN)
• Head West old man (Sun Sentinel)
  

Don't Leave Cake At My House After the Pats Lose the Superbowl

It is Wednesday. It has been three days since the Patriots stunned me by losing the Superbowl. I am starting to feel better but every so often it just hits me like a gut-punch: they lost. At the risk of appearing one-thousand-percent insane, the only other times I have had that feeling - that sitting on the subway reading a book and the overwhelming sense of reality descends - are during deaths and unusually bad break-ups.

I even dreamed of the Superbowl. Sunday I dreamed that a friend of mine emailed me a bunch of gibberish which contained the secret to why the Pats lost. I have been informed that is the dream of a crazy person.

Monday, in a fit of Boston pride, I decided to wear my Patriots cap as a form of moral support. For whom, I have no idea. I expected to get into a bunch of fights with NYC Giants fans. The only response I got was a homeless man who yelled out "I feel your pain." Most people just looked at me with pity.

My friend Matt over at the Big Eaters Club saw my "fan-gear display in the face of a humiliating loss as some sort of sublimated mate-seeking behavior." I think he's wrong. He also told me "it's just a fucking sports team. You need a baby." Keep in mind, this is the same friend who brought a giant cake to my house on Sunday with a "4" candle on it. (Four Superbowl wins in this century for my gay blog readers.)

That same cake has been my constant companion during these trying times. If Monday (my birthday incidentally) had a theme it would have been "cake and crying." In the last four days I have eaten enough of this cake to send me into a diabetic coma. Which would be fine. Wake me for pitchers and catchers.

This whole debacle reminds me of the 1985 Superbowl. I was just a kid that year. The Pats were wild underdogs all season. When they made the Superbowl, New England went crazy with Pats pride. Me included.

It became pretty clear early on in that game that the Pats were over matched. Even a girl child like me could tell that they weren't losing, they were being murdered on TV. It was one of my first feelings of clear shame.

I had no grasp on the idea that the Pats could lose. I was a kid. I just thought your team won. And now, 23 years later and I still can't grasp the concept of losing. Which is borderline insane as I am a New England sports fan. As my friend Chris* (who’s a Mets fan so he’s been laid out by a devastating loss or two) put it: “you're a Red Sox fan, so you are familiar with heartbreaking losses, but I don't think you ever get used to it.”

No, you don't. But you keep coming back.

The difference between 1985 and 2008 is that I can handle the loss this time. In 1985 I was devastated more than I had any right to be. I wasn't much of a football fan, I was just a child. But the elation immediately followed by disappointment was too much for my tiny soul to handle.

Now I see that only in loss can one find those moments of humanity that are heartbreaking. (Keep in mind I prefer winning to life lessons. I like winning. But since my team lost, on to the moments.) Like my nephew, Troy dolling out hugs at the Superbowl party to the devastated masses, a text from a gay friend saying "I don't know much about football but I know about feelings...hope you are OK," a late night email from a Bears fan living in LA that said, "I feel your pain." It's how people should act when someone dies except people don't know how to act when someone dies. I guess that's what sports gives us, a safe haven to be human.

My nephew stayed with my on Sunday night and the next day I wanted to explain to him why people got so upset about the game. He seemed to get it and as we were walking towards the subway I said to him, "The thing about losing is..." Troy finished my sentence, "there's always next year." He's a true New England fan.

* Chris has a great blog that I was going to link to but I can't right now. He's a Giants fan and has, as is his right, a column about the big upset. Yes, that makes me a nelly and a weenie-genie, but it is my blog. Lay off!