...are Jackie Clarke and Tim Curcio.
They are unqualified experts in the fields of: sports, pop culture, midwifery and 13th Century Cubism. They are good at talking, jammering, blabbering, chatting, chit-chatting, blabbing, speaking, making sounds with mouths, reciting and screaming.
DerMarr Johnson gets tased outside a nightclub. What's funnier than watching a 6-9 guy dropped to the floor (ESPN)
Jeff Samardzija apparently chose the wrong sport (Lion In Oil)
Kobe still trying to make up for raping that poor girl (Bossip)
Can one fight save boxing? (Larry Brown Sports)
Time to drop Federer out of the same conversations as MJ & Tiger. Until Federer can figure out Nadal on a consistent basis, he will never be considered 'greatest ever' (Sports Illustrated)
-LOSE LOSE SITUATION FOR THE ORLANDO MAGIC
Word out of Orlando reports that with the signing of Stan Van Gundy, they will have to give the Miami Heat a 2nd round pick from this years draft, and a undisclosed pick from next years draft. The Heat were not interested in compensation when rumors had Van Gundy going west to Sacramento. So lets recap the Magic's week; They signed Billy Donovan, 3 days later Billy Donovan backs out of his deal, then they sign the other Van Gundy, and on that same day they have to give up 2 draft picks. Sounds like a tough week to be a fan of the Magic. Now they must figure out how to get some more scoring in their lineup.
-WHO CAN HELP KOBE?
The Lakers are actively pursuing big men to help Kobe out. Reports have the Pacers offering up Jermaine O'Neal and Jamaal Tinsley for Andrew Bynum, Lamar Odom, Kwame Brown, and the Lakers First round pick. O'Neal would provide the Lakers with the force inside they have been missing since that other O'Neal was jettisoned from LA, but that is a lot to give up for a guy who while good, has never been able to put his team on his back. Tinsley is a good point guard, but he would be terribly out of place in Phil Jackson's triangle offense, which requires the pg to be able to hit three pointers. As for the Pacers, they would be receiving every usable piece out of LA except for Kobe. Bynum is a nice prospect, Odom is an extremely versatile forward who has yet to find the right team, Brown is an athletic bust, and the pick is a throw away in most draft, but this is one of the deepest drafts I have seen.
-ARTEST ON THE MOVE
The Ron Artest in Sacramento project looks to be coming to a close. Nobody on the team enjoyed playing with him, nor did they appreciate his antics off of the court. This will be Artest's 3rd team he leaves in a worse position, which is becoming part of his persona now. You would think that all teams in the league would notice what a cancer he has been and not touch him, however he is a tremendous talent, and talent will always get you a job. All Artest needs is one team to buy into the idea that they have the right nucleus to make this work. Could this team be the Miami Heat? With Shaq, Wade, and Riley in place, would Artest cause the same issues he has in other cities where he tried to be the man? This could be another Rodman to the Bulls situation, where it was just right place at the right time. Artest would be the perfect complement to Wade and Shaq, since he can provide his own offense, will rebound, and shut down the other teams best player.
-SHAWN MARION
The Phoenix Suns seem to be replicating a lot in the frontcourt, so maybe it is time to thin out that glut and bring in some other type of players. Would they be interested in trying to work out a Marion for Jermain O'Neal swap. Outside of the other pieces to make the salary cap work, imagine a Suns team with Nash, Stoudamire, and O'Neal. They would not be as fast, but they would be able to win in the playoffs. That is a nightmare of a lineup for other teams to try to match up with.
The NBA Rumor Mill is hot right now with the Kobe Bryant giving the Lakers an ultimatum. So lets get to it:
-Word out of Dallas today has a monster trade floating around: KOBE for DIRK. This would be one of the biggest trades the NBA has ever seen, so I doubt it would ever happen, but that still does not stop me from taking a look at each teams starting 5 after the trade.
MAVS: Desagna Diop, Josh Howard, Kobe Bryant, Jason Terry, Devin Harris
This makes the Mavs really small, so if this trade happens, look for them to look to move Terry for a big man. Would they be interested in the Blazers Zach Randolph or Knicks forward Channing Frye? Both guys are on the trading block and the swap would work for either teams. Imagine the Mavs lineup now with Randolph or Frye instead of Terry; pretty nasty in my opinion. A lineup of Harris, Kobe, and Howard would be the fastest in the league and killer defensively. The only worry would be rebounding in the front court, but Randolph did get 10 rpg last year. This team would also be able score the ball in so many ways it would be scary.
LAKERS: Andrew Bynum, Dirk Nowitzki, Lamar Odom, Maurice Evans, Jordan Farmar
On paper this gives the Lakers a really big squad, but upon further assessment of the big guys games shows that Nowitzki and Odom are both more comfortable at the high post. Bynum is a very skilled young big guy who is going to get better every year. How Nowitzki's game would develop without the team need of him being a post scorer? Odom is versatile enough to blend his game into whatever the players around him are best at. The real weakness would be in the backcourt where Evans and Farmar are both sub par. Would the Lakers be able to trade Luke Walton for a SG or pick one up via Free Agency?
Overall this trade opens the door for 2 teams struggling for an identity to swap superstars, and in take a step forward. Both squads would be noticeably different, but still in the playoff picture. If ever there was a time for 2 superstars to be swapped straight up, it is now.
