...are Jackie Clarke and Tim Curcio. TALK ABOUT IT: Liv Tyler plants one on Kate Bosworth
Just because we can.
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
BILLY IS A FLAKEY DATE
Billy Donovan's flip flop is complete with a 5 year NBA ban. Congrats Billy on playing second fiddle once again to Urban Meyer and the Gators football team.
PUT DOWN THE BOTTLE KEON
In the where are they now segment for today, former NBA player Keon Clark was arrested on warrants for drunken driving and trespassing in Champaign County, Illinois. Looks like Clark's post playing days are turning out to be a lot like his days on the court, where he was known for good games followed by a series of games where he did not show up. Clark was a super-athletic big man who played above the rim as well as anybody, but his laziness held him back. Now it appears that same laziness has held him back from appearing in court, thereby forcing the cops to come to his door. Clark is like the pretty girl in high school, who flirts with you for help with her homework, and then does not talk to you the next day. Shame on you Clark and other girls of your ilk!
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
DOLPHINS QUARTERBACK QUANDRY LOOKS QUITE OLD
When will the Dolphins realize that going after a quarterback coming off of a majory injury is the wrong way to go? The Curse of Marino is alive and well in Miami. Since Marino retired in 1999 the Dolphins have had Jay Fiedler, Ray Lucas, Brian Griese, AJ Feely, Sage Rosenfels, Gus Frerotte, Daunte Cullpeper, Joey Harrington, and Cleo Lemon. Outside of Cullpeper, this is a list of career backups, but let it be known that Culpepper came to Miami after a serious injury, a bad season in Minnesota, and a rushed rehab, making him nothing more than a high priced backup. So will Miami's most recent plan to bring in Trent Green be any different? Two years ago Green was a Pro Bowl quarterback leading one of the most potent offenses in football, but the same was said about Culpepper. It is true that Green is coming off of a concussion and not a major knee injury, but talk to Steve Young or Troy Aikman about the severity of concussions before you say it won't carry over. I for one am hoping that Green succeeds in Miami at least long enough for rookie John Beck to get comfortable with the offense and the speed of the pro game. However, after looking at that laundry list of mediocre quarterbacks that we have had since Marino walked out the door, I am just not confident. Sorry Miami, but I will always be a fan, I am just low on confidence these days.
I'm Roger Clemens My Penis Hurts
"Waaaah! Waaah! Wah! Wah! I'm Roger Clemens. My pee pee hurts. I can't pitch a baseball even though I'm being paid 8 billion dollars to do so. Wah! My penis hurts. I can't play. It's my penis. My penis hurts. OW! Stop looking at my penis! It hurts. I'm 45. I haven't crapped in 12 days. It is hurting my penis. OW! My penis!"
- Roger Clemens
(Originally posted on JackieClarke.net)
GARRY SHEFFIELD IS AN IDIOT!
In an interview in the June issue of GQ magazine, the typically outspoken Tigers designated hitter crashed into another wall when he said Latin players have replaced African-Americans as baseball's most prevalent minority because they are easier to control.
"I called it years ago. What I called is that you're going to see more black faces, but there ain't no English going to be coming out. … [It's about] being able to tell [Latin players] what to do -- being able to control them,"
"Where I'm from, you can't control us. You might get a guy to do it that way for a while because he wants to benefit, but in the end, he is going to go back to being who he is. And that's a person that you're going to talk to with respect, you're going to talk to like a man.
"These are the things my race demands. So, if you're equally good as this Latin player, guess who's going to get sent home? I know a lot of players that are home now can outplay a lot of these guys."
What Sheffield does not seem to understand is that it is this type of stupidity that makes teams want to shy away from him and other outspoken players. Sheffield has Hall of Fame type career stats, but his mouth has always gotten him in trouble, therefore he has moved from team to team his whole career. Sheff if you are worried about keeping your job, here is a tip: shut your mouth.
As far as the influx of Latin players in baseball, all you have to do is look at their sports culture. Baseball is king there, with no sport other than soccer coming close, while in America there are a ton of sports for kids to play. Therefore with so many kids in their culture playing baseball, it is only fitting that there have been many major league players produced. This is not uncommon in major sports these days that have a history of being played predominantly by Americans (i.e. Boxing & Basketball). Baseball's globalization has been nothing but good for the game and if Sheffield can not recognize that, then that is his loss, not baseballs.
NBA FINALS -VS- LEBRON'S 2ND CHILD
"I’ve already told her I’m not missing any games. I’m not missing any games because of the birth of my second child. I was there for my first one. Definitely going to be tough on me but I think she understands how much I love my teammates and how much they mean."
Lebron James on the birth of his 2nd child, which may happen during the NBA Finals.
THE NEW FACE OF THE NFL
"One day I want to be the face of the league for guys who have come through adversity and ultimately become the Man of the Year in the NFL," Johnson said in May following his release from jail. "That would be a tremendous ending to this story. That's something I'm striving for. I would love to do that."
For those of you who do not know who did not know of Tank Johnson's plan to go to war with door to door salesman and Jehovah's Witnesses, just take a look at his most recent arrest record. Tank was charged with six misdemeanor counts of unlawful possession of a weapon without a Firearm Owner's Identification card following a raid of his home. The six counts resulted from the cache of six guns discovered -- including a three handguns, a rifle and two assult weapons.
What did you think was coming for you Tank, The Deathstar?
Monday, June 4, 2007
What's Up Baseball? Get Yourself Under Control
WHAT ABOUT DWAYNE WADE
With all the talk about Lebron James being the greatest thing since sliced bread, I am left wondering why everyone has forgotten so quickly about Dwayne Wade's great playoff run last year. The guy averaged 28.4 ppg while shooting 50% from the floor. He was great every game unlike Lebron who disappeared in game 1,2,&6 against the Pistons. Wade also came back from injury in game 3 against those same Pistons and led his team to victory. NBA writers seem to have short term memory deficiency if they think Lebron put up the greatest performance since Jordan's last title run. I know their is a dying need to create an epic story any chance we can, but lets not do it at the expense of something really great, like Dwayne Wade's title run last season. Lets save the superlatives annointing the greatness of Lebron till he has actually won a title, and lets not even dare put him in same sentence as Magic, Bird, and Jordan, cause those guys did it year after year.
NFL gets KO'D
Former NFL wide reciever Johnnie Morton made his Mixed Martial Arts début in June at K-1 Dynamite!! USA. He got knocked out by Bernard Ackah just 38 seconds into the matchvia. After being taken to the hospital on a stretcher Morton refused to take his post-fight anti-doping test and was suspended by the California State Athletic Commission.
Billy Donovan is an Indian Giver
So what are the Magic to do now? They went into the weekend thinking that they had just signed the top coaching prospect in basketball to a five year contract only to learn Sunday that he really was not interested in coaching them. Donovan informed the Magic that he had second thoughts and wants to pull out of his contract and head back to the University of Florida. Reports out of Orlando have the Magic letting Donovan out of his contract, but there will be financial ramifications for this. Upon signing Donovan on Thursday, the Magic sold over 200 season tickets. If they let him out of his contract, the PR department is going to have to figure out how to spin this to those new ticket holders. University of Florida had already had discussions with VCU coach Anthony Grant, but those talks were put on hold as soon as Donovan called to see if his old job was still available. Poor Mr Grant thought he had locked up one of the top positions in College Sports, but it looks like if this plays out how we think, Grant will stay at VCU, Donovan will head back to UF, and the Magic will be searching for a new head coach again for the 2nd time in less than a week.
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