YIKES!!!!!

Serena Williams doing her best Kim Kardashian impersonation.

Damn you HDTV

I'm dogsitting for friends this weekend and I am blessed to have HDTV to waste my days away with. HDTV is amazing...until a man like this comes on the screen.


Holy shit! I nearly wretched. I will keep you informed of other players that should wipe Vaseline on their faces before games so we have a bit of a filter on their ugly mugs...

Pippen Still Not A STAR

According to Darren Rovel at CNBC, former NBA star Scottie Pippen is finding creative ways to make money because he can't seem to hold on to it. "Pippen made about $110 million throughout his NBA career, but let us remind you why he needs this. He lost $27 million in bad investments and, as of February, he owed $5 million to a bank for a dispute with a private jet company. And he just sold a 2.28-acre property with 18,700-square foot mansion sitting on it for $2.95 million. He and his wife paid $4 million for it in 2000."

Pippen is now collecting government money for land he controls in Arkansas. I guess he is looking for anyway these days to make a buck, since that comeback attempt last year fell on deaf ears. I have mixed feelings about Pippen's playing career, cause on one hand he single handily took down Charles Barkley's last chance at a title while playing together in Houston, but on the other hand he really truly was one of the best players of his generation.

Pippen' career will always get compared to Jordan, cause of all the years they played together at the top of the NBA. However, we can put all those comparisons to rest, cause Pippen was never the player that Jordan was, but Jordan would also have never one those titles without him. They were a perfect match for each other on the court. Off the court, there were always rumors swirling that they did not get along, mainly because Pippen had a hard time playing second fiddle there as well.

Since I could not find any footage of Pippen's farming highlights, I thought I would include a highlight film of his NBA days.

ROGER "FLESH ROCKET" CLEMENS

I love Pittsburgh and our fans. I went to Yankee Stadium to see the Pirates get swept interleagally by the f'n Yank Offs. I even saw them lose the game of Roger Clemens' return (even though the game was tied 3-3 when he left). But this dude brought up my spirits when he took off his Steelers jersey to reveal this shirt. If the visual metaphor doesn't explain itself, it said "FLESH ROCKET" on the back. So, thanks 'Burgh dude. Welcome back to an Asshole in Pinstripes. And training camp is just around the corner.

LeBron Bron is LeBor Boring

Looks like nobody cares about Lebron James after all. The NBA has to be shitting themselves as the supposed savior of the league can't seem to get anyone to watch the games. The NBA finals had its lowest rating ever for an opening game of an NBA Finals ever. Might it be time to establish a new playoff system where every team is reseeded after the regular season? John Hollinger from ESPN thinks so (ESPN)

Whose House Is It? Chad's House

Cincinnati Bengal wide reciever took on a horse this weekend and beat it soundly. Sounds exciting? Not really, cause Johnson got a 100 meter head start. It looked like Johnson was at the finish line when the horse just got started. Johnson might have not created the excitement that we are accustomed from him this time around, but I did find footage of Johnson's stand up routine that will.

Now We Know Why The Cubs Really Suck

"He came to me the next day, and he apologized, and I apologized to him, and we cried...I still love him." - Carlos Zambrano

Zambrano on his reconciliation with Cubs catcher Michael Barrett after a locker room fight, that sent Barrett to the hospital.

Today's Top Stories

DerMarr Johnson gets tased outside a nightclub. What's funnier than watching a 6-9 guy dropped to the floor (ESPN)

Jeff Samardzija apparently chose the wrong sport (Lion In Oil)

Kobe still trying to make up for raping that poor girl (Bossip)

Can one fight save boxing? (Larry Brown Sports)

Time to drop Federer out of the same conversations as MJ & Tiger. Until Federer can figure out Nadal on a consistent basis, he will never be considered 'greatest ever' (Sports Illustrated)

NBA FINALS WILL COME DOWN TO THE TEAM WITH THE BEST HAIRCUTS

CAVS: Anderson Varejao, Drew Gooden, & Scot Pollard
-VS-
SPURS: Fabricio Oberto, Manu Ginobili, & Brent Barry

Prediction: Spurs in 5

Exclusive Photo of Amanda Beard from PLAYBOY

US SOCCER AT A CROSSROADS?

Can you call it a crossroads if they have only tasted failure? Great article from SI.COM about the the state of US soccer and why we should be tuning in.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/writers/jonah_freedman/06/06/usa.summer/index.html

REQUIREMENTS TO WORK FOR CBS SPORTS: Just have a pulse

Is this an audition tape? How in the world did that guy get a job on TV and I am still blogging away? It's like he forgets where he is midway through and has to look around for help. I have not seen someone as uncomfortable in front of the camera since Vagina Power's Alexyss Tylor's mom got her face on Youtube. Below is best of Vagina Power.

THE MIGHT DUCKS WIN AGAIN

Straight off of the success of his directorial debut, Bobby, Emilio Estevez leads a rag tag group to another Stanley Cup Championship. Were any of you watching?

NBA CHIT CHAT

-LOSE LOSE SITUATION FOR THE ORLANDO MAGIC
Word out of Orlando reports that with the signing of Stan Van Gundy, they will have to give the Miami Heat a 2nd round pick from this years draft, and a undisclosed pick from next years draft. The Heat were not interested in compensation when rumors had Van Gundy going west to Sacramento. So lets recap the Magic's week; They signed Billy Donovan, 3 days later Billy Donovan backs out of his deal, then they sign the other Van Gundy, and on that same day they have to give up 2 draft picks. Sounds like a tough week to be a fan of the Magic. Now they must figure out how to get some more scoring in their lineup.

-WHO CAN HELP KOBE?
The Lakers are actively pursuing big men to help Kobe out. Reports have the Pacers offering up Jermaine O'Neal and Jamaal Tinsley for Andrew Bynum, Lamar Odom, Kwame Brown, and the Lakers First round pick. O'Neal would provide the Lakers with the force inside they have been missing since that other O'Neal was jettisoned from LA, but that is a lot to give up for a guy who while good, has never been able to put his team on his back. Tinsley is a good point guard, but he would be terribly out of place in Phil Jackson's triangle offense, which requires the pg to be able to hit three pointers. As for the Pacers, they would be receiving every usable piece out of LA except for Kobe. Bynum is a nice prospect, Odom is an extremely versatile forward who has yet to find the right team, Brown is an athletic bust, and the pick is a throw away in most draft, but this is one of the deepest drafts I have seen.

-ARTEST ON THE MOVE
The Ron Artest in Sacramento project looks to be coming to a close. Nobody on the team enjoyed playing with him, nor did they appreciate his antics off of the court. This will be Artest's 3rd team he leaves in a worse position, which is becoming part of his persona now. You would think that all teams in the league would notice what a cancer he has been and not touch him, however he is a tremendous talent, and talent will always get you a job. All Artest needs is one team to buy into the idea that they have the right nucleus to make this work. Could this team be the Miami Heat? With Shaq, Wade, and Riley in place, would Artest cause the same issues he has in other cities where he tried to be the man? This could be another Rodman to the Bulls situation, where it was just right place at the right time. Artest would be the perfect complement to Wade and Shaq, since he can provide his own offense, will rebound, and shut down the other teams best player.

-SHAWN MARION
The Phoenix Suns seem to be replicating a lot in the frontcourt, so maybe it is time to thin out that glut and bring in some other type of players. Would they be interested in trying to work out a Marion for Jermain O'Neal swap. Outside of the other pieces to make the salary cap work, imagine a Suns team with Nash, Stoudamire, and O'Neal. They would not be as fast, but they would be able to win in the playoffs. That is a nightmare of a lineup for other teams to try to match up with.

Kevin Youkilis Works for Scooter Libby!?!

This picture was on the front page of the NY Times today.


Doesn't this look like RED SOX 1st baseman and future Jackie Clarke ex-husband, Kevin Youkilis, escorting convicted Bush felon, Scooter Libby?


Yooooooooouks!

(Originally posted on JackieClarke.net)